The Winter 2013 Television Thread

Okay. We've got a lot of stuff coming in and I don't have all the dates and times in front of me, so I'll have to update this a bit to get that in. For starters, I'll just rattle off all the stuff I know of.

Fox

The Following - You know this is coming if you're anywhere near Fox in your watching habits. If you can remember a couple of years ago when it seemed like every show was about Edgar Allen Poe somehow, this would be the only survivor of that crop (aside from the allegedly pretty awful movie). The pitch for the show is that The Guy You Recognize Who Isn't Kevin Bacon is a serial killer who draws upon Poe as inspiration (at least in the pilot). He's been arrested on account of he kills lots of people and that's just sort of the thing you do in that situation, and the guy who put him there is Kevin Bacon. A few years later, new murders after the fashion of the original murders start showing up, leading the police to suspect that this crazy person has a FOLLOWING (subtle, right?) of people picking up where he left off. The assumption is that this will come in and stop The Mob Doctor from further ruining my recollection of The Chicago Code on Monday nights, and the initial reception is actually pretty damn positive. A lot will depend on how much the network forces the show to tone things down.

Touch - The show that won the coin toss against Alcatraz on account of Kiefer being besties with the network boss will be back. If you don't remember, this was the show that contended that some special subgroup of autistic people were actually magic creatures from esoteric Jewish mysticism who were tasked with being the three hundred good people in the universe that give Yaweh an excuse not to just Sodom and Gommorah the whole thing. If they stay true to the season finale last year, they'll have switched coasts and, of a necessity, they'll have to switch up a bunch of the particulars of the show that annoyed me in the first place, but I doubt they'll address my biggest problem (you know, aside from the fact that I am apparently supposed to convince an invisible wizard not to smash all you people with a hammer) - the saccharine, nearly sickening tone. Nonetheless, I believe this is expected to go to Friday when Fringe runs out of episodes.


ABC

Red Widow - This is a show that seems like it has to be based on a book about a mob wife whose husband dies and she ends up doing all the stuff he used to do just to keep the family safe. I have no clue what the tone is going to be. Since ABC has already cleared two slots in their schedule, I assume that this will end up on Wednesdays with Nashville slotting into somewhere on Sunday. I'll give it a shot, but I've honestly got no clue what to expect. ABC currently skews toward the female demographic, which would suggest that you should expect a lot of the mommy story, but they've been trying for a couple of seasons now to grab back some male audience with at least a couple of their shows.

Zero Hour - The best way to describe this show is probably "What if Michael Shermer met the actual Illuminati?" Of course, that doesn't make any goddamn sense if you don't know who Michael Shermer is, but the basic pitch is that the editor of some sort of skeptical publication gets wrapped up in some for real conspiracies. My guess is that this will replace Last Resort on Thursday, and all indications are that it is terrible with a capital shitty. That's only based on what some critics have seen of the pre-release pilot, so it could change, but it could also not change. I'll give it a shot since it intersects so many areas of my interest and I'm generally game for any show that I can belittle to hide my deep-seeded feelings of inadequacy.

Body of Proof - This show is coming back, but it might as well not be, because quite a lot of the cast got fired. Specifically, all the police (which is why the lady police is now on Burn Notice doing effectively the same thing she was doing here). I suspect that it will still be inoffensive fluff that will slot into wherever the network needs to fill time, and further that it probably won't survive this season. I believe that they've retained Jeri Ryan and Dana Delaney, however, if that's what you were interested in.


NBC

1600 Penn - Remember that show "The Powers that Be?" No? Well, fuck you. It was awesome, or at least I recall my teenage self thinking so. This seems a lot like it to me. It's a comedy about the president's family. Jenna Elfman is not a particularly big draw for me, but I'm interested in spite of that. It is, in fact, one of the two network sitcoms that I'm feeling any anticipation for.

Community - The other sitcom. It'll be back in its same old time slot for thirteen episodes.

Deception - Somebody at NBC saw Revenge and figured that they'd better get on that train right now, so we have this. Some socialite gets dead and this nice black lady cop goes undercover as some kind of servent at their palatial manor in wherever the hell it happens to be.

Hannibal - This would be the thing that NBC would rather Bryan Fuller do than Mockingbird Lane because they have no taste. Lucky for them, the pilot is apparently pretty okay. Mads Mikelson is Hannibal Lecter back in the days when he was consulting with the FBI and nobody knew that he like to eat Duded up Beans. It doesn't have a date yet, but it does have a full series order, because it's being half-financed by overseas interests, the same way The Firm was. So there's going to be 22 episodes of this at some point.


CBS

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......I got nothing. They only canceled one of their new shows in the hour long slot, so I'm not sure there's room for anything anyway.


The CW

Cult - This is another show in the general pattern of The Following, but with an actual Cult. It is allegedly godawful, but it might just be so bad that it's good, and it'll have Jo from Supernatural, so I'm in.

The Carrie Diaries - I won't watch it because I have less than no interest in the premise, but I assume that people do exist that want more Sex in the City, and that's basically what this is. It's a prequel, when Carrie was young, hence the name. I assume this will plug the hole that Gossip Girl is going to leave when it runs out.


FX

Unsupervised - This is currently slated to return in December, which I find absolutely puzzling. I like the show, anyway. It's like Beavis and Butthead if those two were just irrepressibly positive and always wanted to do the right thing (so it's sort of like a collision between that show and Moral Orel). It's hard not to like it, though I imagine it's easy not to love.

Justified - It's back in January.

Archer - Durrrr. Forgot about this one somehow. Mostly because I find it baffling that it doesn't seem to be launching at the same time as Unsupervised, which I had assumed would be its partner.

The Americans - This will be FX's latest attempt to build a new one hour series. Their past two attempts that I can remember didn't work out so good (Terriers and Lights Out were both excellent shows, but did not manage to gather any sort of audience). If you remember the subplot from the first season of Homeland in which the two sekrit muslims got a house overlooking the airport for....uhh....I'm not sure there was ever a punchline to that, that's basically what this is, but set in the eighties with Communists. Felicity is the female lead and I don't really care who the guy is because I'm interested in enough in the premise and the network's pedigree to give it a shot. This is also premiering in January.


Starz

Spartacus - It's back for the last year. They decided they didn't feel right going on any further.


TBS

Cougar Town - This apparently starts again. At this point, it's going to end up being the show that I never really caught, but I guess I can't watch all of television. I mean, I've busted out The Wire and The Shield into episodes, and I've got to stop somewhere. Sorry Courtney Cox. Your show looked like I would really like it.

Other Cable

I don't have anything off the top of my head, but I'll do some research. I can say for sure that there won't be any new series on USA until the Summer (they're doing something about undercover cops on the beach), but there might be something on A&E or TNT or the pay channels that I'm just not remembering.

Wooo more Justified, though I still need to catch up with ...whatever season it is that I'm on.

Spartacus: Fuck It All Anyway* starts back in January for the final season.

*title approximate

Why do I do anything? I'm a fucking moron. I got carried away trying to remember details about The Americans or something, but mostly I'm just stupid and there's kind of a lot of television on television this winter.

YOU FORGOT THE RETURN OF COUGAR TOWN, YOU WORTHLESS SON OF A BITCH!

Yeah - that one I don't watch so much. I process very little of TBS. It's on the list now, though. At some point, when I'm not still furious at myself for possibly destroying my Harmony and enstickying my end table with my drink, I'll go find all the start dates for these things.

Someone said "Terriers!"
TERRIERS!

Maybe Hank can get on his bike from Sons of Anarchy and meet up with Britt in New York and blow up both Sons and Once Upon A Time. It could happen.

1600 Penn is getting some good reviews, and it has a decent production group behind it. It's intended to be NBC's answer to Modern Family. There's a preview episode coming up this Monday, so I'm gonna give it a try.

Martin Short with Paul McCartney as the special guest musician?

Is Hulu queuing an episode of SNL from the late 80s for me?

I hope it airs late Winter, but Luther began filming season 3 in November. I know Tyjenks will like this fact, and I really cannot wait for more John Luther to air.

HOT DAMN!!! I have seen bits on Facebook about it, but almost want to do a self imposed media blackout because I know the entire 3rd Series will have aired over there before they decide to give us even a glimpse of the first episode on BBC America. THe wait is agony for this one for me. Need more Idris!!!

We do have Justified a-comin', though. That will do.

Is it wrong I mostly watch Body of Proof only for scenes with Jeri Ryan? Also Mark Valley was added to the cast, so the show might actually be good!

I have the second half of the first season of Touch to watch, does it get better?

Justified will hopefully return to the awesomeness of Seasons 1 and 2.

I will watch Spartacus, but I have almost no expectation that it will be anything close to good.

TV guide premier calendar is up! http://www.tvguide.com/special/winter-preview/calendar.aspx

It got dumber. Whether that's good or bad depends on your perspective. Seriously, though - none of the things I said were jokes. It is one hundred percent about Yaweh needing a specially selected group of mentally retarded people to exist to justify not stomping all of humanity out of existence. If that sounds like the kind of stupid that you can enjoy, then it's still schmaltzy as hell and saccharine, but I laugh my ass off at it. It'll also require an act of....well, I guess forty mentally retarded people to survive for another season if it doesn't dramatically improve its performance over last year, so if you're the kind of person who only wants to bet on sure things, you might as well hold off.

Whenever I see the title Touch, I can't help but think of the Transformers movie theme song.

EDIT: The original, animated movie, not the a-bay-minations that we have now.

This. The original book, on which it was based, was a short and sweet plot about a father struggling to deal with his son's general maladies, only to discover his special powers of healing people of their distress through his touch. Not healing their wounds -- healing their hate, mental issues, etc. The culmination of the book is that the kid is on an international TV show in Australia, touches the camera, and heals a vast majority of the world in one shot, but then dies through the exertion. It was a big Jesus-ending.

The TV show departed from this story after episode 1. Then, once they got that out of the way, they started in on the "numerology coincidence of the week" story-line that they hammered to death, interspersed with shots of Kiefer yelling his son's name and chasing him through traffic.

This is fantastic news. What an excellent show this was.

Inside track: I don't think he's 100% on this role, personally. He hasn't talked about it, and he's specifically focusing his career these days on...stand up comedy. Yeah, you laugh now -- but that's what he's hoping for.

Well, a combination of that and Fringe, which I honestly didn't understand, even at the time, because Fringe had not only already ended quite satisfactorily, but was 100% going to end (meaning that they couldn't renew it if they wanted to), while Alcatraz could still go for awhile, and I'm not sure what Bad Robot production Fox has the opportunity to order for next season (since everybody wants to be in business with Abrams). Once Fringe got picked up for its latest season as an entirely and completely different show anyway, which one of Touch and Alcatraz would get picked up would have been a coin flip if it weren't for the fact that Kiefer Sutherland is one of Kevin Reilly's (the guy in charge of these sorts of decisions) boys, so Kevin's not going to fire him if he's got any sort of choice in the matter.

On the plus side, it really is just extra dumb in an hilarious way, though I have a hard time thinking how the show will manage to be even half as Jewy as it was in the latter half of the first season, which was some of the hilarity. We're talking a Fiddler on the Roof degree with no self-consciousness whatsoever. In the finale last year they switched coasts, however, and picked up an actress that I have to think they're going to keep (Maria Bello), so I tend to think they're probably going to stay on the West Coast.

Really? Alcatraz? I think I watched about two episodes, did it have a dramatic upswing in quality?

It wasn't terrible, if that's what you're asking. It hadn't yet quite settled on its Abrams-style overarching mystery theme yet, but it was getting there. More importantly, it wasn't just congealed stupid the way that Touch is and it wasn't coming into the season pre-canceled the way that Fringe was, and technically it was positing a geometrically greater ratings performance than Fringe (though part of that had to do with its placement on Mondays, and there's no way of telling how much of that would follow it to Friday).

On the plus side, Sarah Jones got evacuated to Vegas, so you can still see her if you miss her.

Also, if you thought you were getting a break, television is already starting up again this week. Chicago Fire and American Horror Story tonight, and the prime time CBS shows will be back tomorrow.

Any word on the HBO series Banshee?

HBO Nordic is marketing it here, probably because Ulrich Thomsen (with a passable accent) is playing the town bad guy.

That's literally the first I've heard about it. Had to look it up on Wiki:

I'm not sure, but I stuck it on record anyway. Same with The Americans on FX.

OK, I meant to post this before the holidays but got sidetracked. <shakes fist> Damn holidays!

Sluggo's January 2013 Viewing Guide

This isn't meant to be an exhaustive list of everything happening in January, but more day-by-day highlights of stuff I felt was worth calling out – premieres, finales, and some other stuff. It's a pretty stacked January.

As a bonus, I've listed a few Feb dates worth mentioning as well. Complaints for stuff I've left out stuff be directed, umm, elsewhere. All times EST unless otherwise noted.

Thu 1/3
Fiesta Bowl: Oregon vs Kansas State – ESPN, 8:30PM
Leg Wounder* (new episode) – CBS, 9PM
(*AKA Person of Interest)

Fri 1/4
Portlandia (new episodes) – IFC, 10PM

Sat 1/5 - Sun 1/6
NFL Wild Card Playoffs
Bengals @ Texans – NBC, Sat 4:30
Vikings @ Packers – NBC, Sat 8PM
Colts @ Ravens - CBS, Sun 1PM
Seahawks @ Redskins - FOX, Sun 4:30

Sun 1/6
Downton Abbey (2-hour season premiere) – PBS, 9PM

Mon 1/7
BCS National Championship: Notre Dame v Alabama, ESPN, 8:30PM
Deception (new series) – NBC, 10PM

Tue 1/8
Pretty Little Liars (new episodes) – ABCF, 8PM
Justified (new season) – FX, 10PM
New Girl (new episode) – FOX, 9PM
Cougar Town (new season and network) – TBS, 10PM
Jimmy Kimmel Live (new earlier timeslot) – ABC, 11:35PM

Wed 1/9
People's Choice Awards – CBS, 9PM
Modern Family (new episode) – ABC, 9PM
Suburgatory (new episode) – ABC, 9:30
Nashville (new episode) – ABC, 10PM

Thu 1/10
1600 Penn (series premiere) – NBC, 9PM
Suits (season 2 marathon) – USA, 6AM-4PM

Fri 1/11
Fringe (new episode) –FOX,9PM
Banshee (series premiere) – MAX, 10PM

Sat 1/12 – Sun 1/13
NFL Divisional Playoffs
Ravens @ Broncos – CBS, Sat 4:30 ET
Packers @ 49ers – FOX, Sat 8PM ET
Seahawks @ Falcons – FOX, Sun 1PM ET
Texans @ Patriots – CBS, Sun 4:30 ET

Sun 1/13
Golden Globe Awards – NBC, 8PM
Girls (season 1 marathon) – HBO, 4-9PM
Girls (season 2 premiere) – HBO, 9PM
Enlightened (new season) – HBO, 9:30PM
Shameless (new season) – SHO, 9PM
House of Lies (new season) – SHO, 10PM
Californication (new season) – SHO, 10:30

Mon 1/14
How I Met Your Mother (winter premiere) – CBS, 8PM
The Carrie Diaries (series premiere) – CW, 8PM
Continuum (US series premiere) – Syfy, 8PM

Tue 1/15
Hart of Dixie (new episode) – CW, 8PM*
(*OK, I felt bad there were no other premieres this night. Maybe NHL hockey will be back? PLEASE)

Wed 1/16
American Idol (season premiere) – FOX, 8PM
Arrow (new episode) – CW, 8PM

Thu 1/17
Anger Management (new season) – FX, 9PM
Suits (season 2.2 premiere) – USA, 10PM
Archer (new season) – FX, 10PM
Legit (series premiere) – FX, 10:30

Fri 1/18
Fringe (2-hour series finale) – FOX, 8PM

Sun 1/20
AFC / NFC Championship games

Mon 1/21
The Following (series premiere) – FOX, 9PM

Tue 1/22
White Collar (new season) – USA, 10PM

Wed 1/23
Unnecessary Roughness (new season) – USA, 10PM
American Horror Story (season 2 finale) – FX, 10PM

Thu 1/24
Last Resort (series finale?) – ABC, 8PM
Glee (new episode) – FOX, 9PM

Fri 1/25
Spartacus (season premiere) – Starz, 9PM

Sun 1/27
NFL Pro Bowl – NBC, yesiknowyourenotwatchingthis o'clock

Mon 1/28
Dallas (season premiere) – TNT, 9PM

Wed 1/30
The Americans (new series) – FX, 10PM

Thu 1/31
30 Rock (1-hour series finale) – NBC, 8PM
Do No Harm (series premiere) – NBC, 10PM

BONUS: February stuff
Sun 2/3 - Super Bowl XLVII (CBS) (also: Elementary gets the post-game slot)
Tue 2/5 – Smash season premiere (NBC)
Thu 2/7 - Community season premiere (NBC)
Fri 2/8 – Touch season premiere (FOX)
Sun 2/10 – Grammy Awards (CBS)
Sun 2/10 – The Walking Dead season premiere (AMC)
Thu 2/14 – Zero Hour series premiere (ABC)
Tue 2/19 – Cult series premiere (CW)
Sun 2/24 – Academy Awards (ABC)
Wed 2/27 – Psych season premiere (USA)

Yay Archer! Justified! Community!

Continuum is pretty kooky, but stick with it. It's a pretty okay show. Though there's an episode featuring a video game that's almost as bad as the gold standard of bad video game episodes, the X-Files episode First Person Shooter.

Also yay Justified, yay Shameless, yay The Carrie Dia- wait, what?

I should catch up on Spartacus s2.

Huh. So, FX should probably get its act together. Despite its renewal last March, apparently Unsupervised isn't coming back. According to the producers on Twitter like two months ago.

Meh Continuum did nothing for me, I just didn't like the female lead enough to give it more than 1 episode.

A friend told me a show called Primeval New World is really good, but it seems to not be airing in the USA yet.

UPDATE!!! he said its on the SPACE channel , when did Brian Rubin start a TV network?

Aww, I liked that show. It was like Beavis and Butthead, but where they're eternal optimists.

Dude! You forgot that Castle starts up again on Monday!

SPACE is the Canadian equivalent of the U.S. SciFi channel. Minus the wrestling and ghost shows.

I think you mean "SyFy."

Not on Sluggo's list - Being Human season 3 starts on 1/14 on SyFy.

Btw, this is probably as good a place as any to mention my new favorite Android App: SeriesGuide. You add all your TV shows to it, and then through crowdsource magicification it will tell you when stuff is on. It's handy, even though I program my DVR, stuff can get through the cracks.

So, a concise list of things starting up this coming week based on my recording schedule:

Sunday - Once Upon a Time and Revenge on ABC (666 Park being replaced by sitcom reruns), all of the animated block on FOX, Mentalist and Good Wife on CBS
Monday - Castle on ABC, Deception on NBC
Tuesday - Comedies on ABC, everything on CBS, Justified on FX
Wednesday - Nashville starts in earnest (this past week was a clip show). I'm also showing Haven running that night, but I still haven't picked up the lost episode from the last minute Connecticut preemption.
Thursday - Last Resort on ABC (and presumably the other stuff), Comedies on NBC (including the official debut of 1600 Penn)
Friday - Fringe on FOX.

I've seen none of the new stuff at this point - not even 1600 Penn, as my PVR system has decided to get finnicky about recording reliably and that was one of the episodes it decided to take a gooey crap on. Deception doesn't have the greatest buzz going in, though. I mean, I'm kind of expecting horrible from the jump anyway, so I won't be shocked, but, you know, just so it's out there.

I refuse to acknowledge the name change.