Theres No Such Thing As Too Much Pokemon (Crystal)

Small, Medium, or Cone Head?

Davian, if it helps any, you'll probably be in the top 10, no, 1 percent of rattata in my heart.

Do you want filling in that riceball? *shoves up sleeves* I could try to make one, with seaweed for hair.

Davian, you should just be happy that master loves you.

QAQ I'm sorry my evil-sting-everyone-better-than-all-yo-peasants-Beedrill side came out I love Rattata ahh-
*hugs Daviattata*

Small. Yes. Small...

Everyone is so nice... yes... I should be happier. I will try harder.

((Beedrill is actually my favourite Bug, bar none. I could never be mad at a Beedrill!))

Mmh, riceballs...
If I end up spending all night doing them, I'll blame all of you.

EDIT: I blame all of you.

Have a tiny update while my body tries to kill me.


I head back to the pokecenter and swap Phoenicity out with Iris.

I’m sure Phoenicity will be useful somehow, I mean, they’re a shapeshifter.

I just don’t know what for yet.



Alright Iris, we’re going to make you a little stronger and see what you can do.



I tell him that, yeah, I’m awake without mentioning that I’ve pretty much given up on seeing the sun again for a little while.



He tells me he'll be waiting on Route 31 and then hangs up before I can tell him not to bother.

It’s a nice gesture, but fuck ever actually getting berries from him when it involves walking back through a creepy forest and a cave.

I head back to the path in front of Goldenrod. With the others stepping in whenever the wild pokemon is too strong for her Iris gets a couple levels stronger.

But then I forgot myself and walked through the wrong patch of grass.



Crap. Iris isn’t ready for a pokemon battle and a wild drowzee just put Kaimeanogo to sleep.



Do we have to?



I guess we do. I’ll just switch Iris out of the battle as fast as I can.

Wait. She sent out a hoppip.

I saw a special about these things. They’re floaty and useless.



Good girl.

The trainer sends out another hoppip.



Iris knocks it out in two turns.



Now would be an excellent time to switch her out, though.



I like fire types.




It’s because I have really great pokemon.

This conversation is starting to get a little uncomfortable.




I like free stuff, though.



Now I just need to get one more number to overwrite Joey’s.

In the meantime, Iris keeps getting stronger.

I start to notice something, though.



Whenever we run into a drowzee and I switch Jaakusan in, she’s even more aggressive than she usually is. I noticed that she glares, more than usual I mean, at wild pokemon, but that’s not what she’s doing anymore.

Now she stares at Iris while attacking her opponent.



Iris stares back, but I don’t think there’s anything threatening to it. At least I hope not, but it’s kind of hard to tell, since slowpoke kind of look sleepy all the time. It doesn't escalate into anything while everyone's training, but it makes me nervous enough that the time spent training Iris starts to drag.



After what feels like forever, Iris is a lot stronger than she used to be and some of the others have grown too.



Her attacks at the moment aren't very useful, though. Kiameanogo has the water thing covered.

And Jaakusan still won't stop eying her. Does she have something against physic types, or is it Iris? Whichever it is, it's making my stomach hurt.

I go back to the pokecenter and switch Iris and Rot around, in the interests of fairness and my nerves.



I have him hold the supposedly special rock I got from that chatty guy outside of Violet before heading back outside of the city.

Hopefully he’ll get along with everyone else.

Iris is adorable~ o3o Slowpoke are cute.

Excellent battle.

A Psychic in my group hssss. But. It's so...dopey. Hmmm.

I like Iris. She gets me~

That look is only a ruse. Slowpokes like to wait until your guards are down; they see it as a chance to stab your back.

Did someone say "revive the dead pokemon thread"? I think someone said "revive the dead pokemon thread". Post vomit incoming.

I use the same strategy as I did for training Iris, although Rot starts taking care of himself pretty early on. He wasn’t out and wandering around for long before he learned Rock Throw.



He’s very good at it.

We’ve actually had to move to a different patch of grass because wild pokemon close to Goldenrod stopped approaching him.



I'm really surprised how strong Rot--Jaakusan is hissing.

Why is she hiding behind me and hissing?



Oh. The sun is coming up in a little while. That’s probably why she’s upset.

I’m not tired and neither are the others, though.



Going underground will be a nice compromise. Jaakusan and Zelipso don’t have to deal with the sun, and I don’t have to hunt down a hotel for a little longer.



Ah, why lie to myself? I’ll probably end up sleeping in a back room of the pokecenter.



Let’s see what there is to do down here.




But cheating takes all the fun out of gambling.



And how the fuck were you cheating with a Grimer?



Then Rot took it down before I could think about how you’d cheat a game corner with a ball of slime too hard.

The guy grumbles and acts like a sore loser, but he hands over half of his cash. He says something about having to do things fare and square from now on before slinking over to a chair against the tunnel wall.



That’s very nice, but I just want to look around.



That is both the happiest and grossest pokemon I’ve ever seen. It’s drooling on everything.

Saria takes care of it before it makes too much of a puddle on the floor, though.



Does it make them drool more too?



I think there’s some drool on the bottom of my shoe. This is eight kinds of gross.

While I’m trying not to think about the little squelching noise my left shoe is making, I see something on the ground.



Turns out its a little black case with a coin inside. There’s no name or anything written on the lid, and the coin isn’t actual money. The coin has ‘Game Corner’ spelled out along its edge and is exactly the shade of gold you’d put on something so that the person paying for it doesn’t feel too ripped off.

Huh, I guess I have a coin case now. If the game corner lets teenagers gamble, I’ve got something to carry my winnings in.

Before I go much further, the old woman behind the first table down here smiles and calls me over.




I ask her how I’m supposed to get them to take the medicine after the first time if they don’t like the taste.



This is creepy and I’m out.



So, so creepy.

A table further is a guy who looks significantly less like he knows how to turn me into a frog or something.



Oh, you probably groomed that guy’s Likitung.

He says he’s the older and more experienced of the two brothers that run the shop. He says that he can groom one of my pokemon for 500.

That would be a great way to cheer Kaimeanogo up, she’s still got that really focused look on her face, and it might help make up for my mistakes so far, but…



I haven’t eaten since we got here, and I’m not sure how much food costs around here.



You are really focused on something.

I tap him on the shoulder and he spins around, saying something about type advantages too fast for me to catch much.



Why am I not surprised?



He has four magnemite, and they’re all pretty easy to light on fire.



Yeah that’s not really a smart decision.

Hello unmarked hallway.



If I wasn’t supposed to be here, they wouldn’t make this hallway so easy to walk through.



I don’t know, sign. If I’m really not supposed to be back there, they’d lock the-

Well fuck.

I guess I’m done exploring then.

I’m coming up on the stair up when a guy in some sort of trench coat approaches me. He says something about me carrying a rare pokemon.



I show him my pokemon.




He then wastes time telling me something I already know; Anthony will phone me if he sees rare pokemon.



I have to admit I’m a little suspicious of the company Anthony keeps now. That kid doesn’t look all there.



Not that anyone in that tunnel besides the pokemon groomer looked stable.

Speaking of stable, I wonder if that Rocket has started ruining everything yet.



You still haven’t done anything?

But I’ve given you the whole night and part of today to start shit.

How slow can someone be?

Bah.

While he’s still dragging his feet, I head off to the pokecenter to sleep.

I sleep and goof around for a little while, a whole day and a half actually, without the Rocket underling outside of the radio tower doing anything at all. It’s nice to have something of a break from chasing after Ybobe, but everyone gets bored pretty quickly.

Some of the team looks as impatient as I feel. Waiting for the Rocket to do whatever stupid thing he’s been told to do so I can show up Ybobe is like a fall out of a tree.

You know the ground is coming.

It knows it’s coming.

You’ve even tried to make sure you won’t fall on anything important, so why is the ground taking so long to smash into you?



Maybe gambling will help.




Yeah.



I’m not spending more than a third of my money for an Abra outright, and I definitely don’t have the luck to win 100 coins.

Fuck, I’ll just check on the Rocket again.

My walking by every once in a while to check on this guy must not have been as subtle as I thought, because he catches sight of me pretty quickly.



I walk off without saying anything because snapping back at an irritated criminal is stupid, but I really want to tell him to just do whatever it is he’s supposed to already.

This means there’s only one thing left for me to do in Goldenrod.



The sign still claims there’s a pretty girl inside, and I think poking my head in to check before making a real run for this badge is a good idea.



I wave.

He says that the gym is home to trainers who like normal-type pokemon, and that I could wipe the floor with them if I had a fighting-type.



Hm, I don’t know where to find a fighting type though. I think Kaimeanogo turns into one eventually, but I have no idea when and vague memories of nature specials aren’t-



Hey, a side path.



I haven’t seen any pretty people, but there are a hell of a lot of flowers here. It’s nice.



Aw, I was kind of hoping that this would lead directly to Whitney.

When the woman notices me, she says something about how I should be sure to give the battle my best shot, or “I’ll take you down!”



Yeah, sure.



Oh, wait, Jaakusan can’t actually touch anything here.

I switch her out for Kaimeanogo, who knew exactly what I was planning as soon as I asked her to use Hypnosis. She puts the first mewoth to sleep and then double slaps it into fainting. She does the same to the second meowth, but this time, something goes wrong.

Kaimeanogo’s tail hits the meowth in the back of the head while she’s using Doubleslap. I think she was aiming for its back, but she wobbles a little and her tail comes down across the back of the meowth’s head and neck instead. There’s this… noise. I almost didn’t hear it; it was such a small and sort of wet sound.

The meowth shudders in its sleep and then makes this big sigh. After that its muscles tremble a little more before the meowth just lays there, looking sort of flat and wrong. Almost like someone had switched it out with a plush toy.



Oh fuck.



The trainer-Samantha quietly gives me half of her money, plus the coins one of her meowth had scattered when it had managed to get out a Payday before Kaimeanogo put it to sleep.



She sits down on the gym floor next to the dead meowth and runs a hand through its fur. Her eyes are getting red and she’s obviously close to crying. Saying “I’m sorry” or “I’m sure Kaimeanogo didn’t mean to do that” wouldn’t do anything. Handing back her cash won’t make her meowth wake up either, so I lead the team back out of the gym as quietly as possible.

Everyone knows there’s always a chance pokemon could die in battle, but actually seeing it hurts. I’ve seen two pokemon die now, and I’m sure this isn’t anything close to what Samantha and that kid in that cave felt.

Or actually being that pokemon.

Ugh, I’m nauseous again. Fucking great.

I eye the Rocket on my way back towards Route 34. I feel like this is all his fault. If I actually do throw up, he's getting a punch in the face.

I let the team run around and do whatever- it’s day out, so Rot is attacking anything that looks the least bit pleased while Jaakusan hides from the sun in a tree-while I sit down and try not to think about the sound of whatever it was Kaimeanogo had hit in that meowth breaking.

I’m terrible.

I'm sorry, master. It's my fault. I was careless and I wasn't paying attention and and-I don't deserve to be on your team. Thanks for taking care of me all this time. Good bye.

After a while, I start to feel better. I stop holding onto my stomach and staring at my shoes and see that Rot is… being pretty diligent about attacking Snubbull. I guess he doesn’t like any pokemon that looks remotely happy. The others have sort of crowded near me.

That’s pretty sweet. I guess-

Wait.

This is just the sort of moment Kaimeanogo would use as an opportunity to ask for pets or whatever. Why isn’t she pressed into my side? I call for her, but I don’t see a polywag wander out of the grass.

Shit. First I kill another person’s pokemon and then I lose my own.

I check my pokegear and see I’ve been sitting around for about an hour. Aw fuck, what if she thought I was upset because of what she did?

Fuck, I’m an idiot. I’ve got to be the worst trainer in Johto.

What if she gets hurt?

Oh shit, I have to find her.
IhavetofindhernowIhaveto.

Okay, so she's had an entire hour to wander around. I’ll just have to look everywhere. She can’t have gotten too far.

Unless something bigger than she was took her.

Fuck.

I wander around the route, calling for Kaimeanogo. I don’t really talk much, so my throat starts to hurt pretty quickly and I probably look nuts, walking around in the grass and yelling.

Please let her be okay.

Holy fuck, I do not have time for this.



I throw the pokegear in to a tree and get back to calling for Kaime.

(Kaimeanogo you butt, do you know how long these took to type out on my phone? Also, you are the only pokemon game!Eboby's got that can learn Surf. Get back here.)
(EDIT: Also no spiffy expressions taken from game art or fan art. I looked for any good ones of Kris for half an hour and there is so little good art of the first female pokemon MC it's stupid.)

Meanwhile, in a pool of water near the pokemon daycare...


I'm sure that this is for the best. Eboby will be much better off without me around to screw up all the time. M-maybe I should go see how she's doing, though. I'll stay out of sight so that she doesn't see me...

(I wish I was sorry, but alas, I am not.)

Well, that’s it for the grass near Ilex Forest. Unless Kaime jumped into the water and swam off into…

I am not going to cry. A kid cries when they screw up, an adult shuts up and fixes it.

“Kaimeanogo!”

Ugh, my throat is killing me. Shouting loud enough that Kaime might hear me wherever she takes more volume than I’m used to.

The team and I move up the route, heading towards the pokemon daycare. I raise my voice as much as I can,“Kai-mean-o-go! Kaime!"

Great. My eyes are watering.
I will not cry.

(This only proves that you are a butt. My revenge was to make a cake before continuing to be a participant in your sick machinations.)

Why does she keep looking for me? It's been hours; she's going to get sick. What reason could she have for wanting a failure like me on her team anyway?
Could it be that she misses me? No, I'm being silly. But maybe she doesn't hate me as much as I thought. Should I let her find me?

(I only want you to love me, Eboby <3 Even if you don't want to)

All this yelling is starting to make my head hurt too, but I have to find Kaimeanogo.

"Kaimeanogo! Are you out here?"

I can't believe I lost her. And the sun's going to set in like an hour. Jaakusan and Zelipso may be able to see in the dark, but I can't.

I can't believe I lost her. She's blue with a see-through stomach, how could I lose track of that? I'm a terrible trainer, that's how. First I keep screwing up in battles and letting my pokemon get hurt, and then I lose one.

I sit down by the fence around the daycare's yard and take a deep breath.

"Kaime, come back!"

Ouch, my voice actually cracked that time.

What am I going to do if I lose my voice before I find her?

I. Am. NOT. Going to cry. I'm just taking some really deep breaths while my eyes water.

(<3 Still a butt, though.)

Oh no. She looks like she might cry. I didn't think that she would keep at it for so long...I'm a terrible pokemon. How could I leave my trainer with the blame for something that I did?

I'm here, master! I'm sorry, I won't let you take on the burden of my acts again. Fell free to punish me how you see fit.

(I will never regret my decisions)

Something slimy touches my arm and if I had more in me than an awkward squeak I would have screamed. When I look at what's touching me though, I see its Kaimeanogo butting her head up against my arm.

I set her in my lap and now I actually do start crying. I thought she'd run away or that something had eaten her, but she's okay.

Kaimeanogo is actually kind of cold, and she chirps a little when I curl myself around her. I just sort of hold onto her and mumble," You're okay, holy fuck, you're okay."

Yeah, that one really hurt. I'm done talking for a while.

And okay, wow, it's getting dark. I calm down a little and put everyone in their pokeballs before I get up so I don't lose track of anyone else on the walk back to Goldenrod.

(Regret all of it. Regret everything ever.)

O-oh, master I-why are you hugging me? I don't deserve such kindness...especially not after everything I've done...

Hush, Kaime, you are grounded.

B-But...she's super effective against ground types....

Well.
Wasn't that moving~
No but seriously, guys you're making my heart hurt. Don't be that adorable.
Psst, Eboby
I don't want to be a butt, but is it cool if I rp as Aleks when he comes along?
*rides off on madame tracy's scooter*

You can all rp if you want! I am just not good at rping back. I've been trying to fold the personalities you guys give your mons into the main posts and whatnot instead of making game!Eboby suddenly understand pokemon-speak in a Mary Sue fashion. LPs are things with room for audience participation, so feel free to do the rp thing if that's what you want. Game!Eboby and the story will react to any rp from you guys, but unless you do a Big Thing, you may not get me attempting something so direct as what just went down. I don't want to have the thread devolve into a giant rp-monster, which I'm sure wouldn't happen anyways because you are all very well behaved, because I might have difficulty moving the story and ultimate end I have in mind forward in such a thing. Kaime is a butt because she did a thing and exposed you all to me attempting to rp without breaking the LP's formatting, not becauseshe broke an unspoken rule or anything.

Also I just kind of think it's funny to make the teenaged trainer wary of the slimy pokemon. Especially when the slimy pokemon takes it personally.

Jesus, that was a lot of text just to say, "Yeah, sure." So, fun fact: In real time in the game, almost everyone who wanted to be a mon is one, and I am trying to find an ice pokemon to challenge the dragon gym with.

Ooh, ooh! What am I, then? :D

Currently you are this thing.

WOOO
THAT IS PERFECT FOR ME
when i was a kid I used to love just spinning around for no reason and making myself dizzy. so much fun

spinny spinny spin spin spin wheeeeeeeeee~

Wait, does that mean I'm one too? OuO
Did I ask to be a 'mon in this thread? I've lost track of everything.
*checks* Yes I did. Hm.

I am... confused. Why was Master upset? Why did the tadpole vanish? Was it not pleased with its victory? Hssss... Walking in the sun, crying over the death of prey... You are all so strange.

Have you found one for me yet?