This is the BEST worst vacation ever! Shall We Date?: My Sweet Prince

I could never join his harem. I don't like to share. :D

So what do you do? Murder his harem and then catch him on the rebound?! THAT'S A HORRIBLE THING TO DO, LADY SILENCE! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED!

No need to kill them. Why not do the humane thing and release them back into the wild?

The wilds of Not Arabia shouldn't be too dangerous, right?

Do you remember how this game starts? Death might be a mercy at this point. Not that I'm advocating that. I was just putting words making assumptions talking about Lady Silence's plans, not mine. >.>

What the hell is wrong with you? And why the hell would you assume I would do something like that?

For your information, I wouldn't be joining a harem in the first place. I also don't appreciate you putting words into my mouth. Next time you see fit to post something, maybe you should make sure you aren't insulting the person you're replying to.

I think she was only joking, Lady Silence. I doubt she really meant to imply that you'd do that for real... :(

Hello again! No worries; I haven't abandoned this!

...I've just been playing a lot of Persona 4 Golden.

Anyway, we were just about to pry into Ivan's background, yes?

Ivan! Tell us about your homeland! Don't you want to ever go back?



Ivan: "And this place has become like my home, so I don't want to leave either."

Crap, no sparkles. Don't worry, I can fix this. To the time machine!

...So, Ivan. Wanna see Japan?




Yes, you. Did you think she was talking to the table lamp?

Amaya: "Yeah. I just know you'll like it. It's got a special culture and lots of greenery. And the food is great!"

Of course she's most excited about the food.





Ivan: "Miss Amaya. I can see you are proud of your homeland. If you weren't, you wouldn't be speaking so happily. You must have been raised in a great country."


Aaand it loops back to this again.




Progress!



Time for what?

Ivan: "I am going to teach you proper table manners."

Amaya: "Eh?!"

Ivan: "Since you don't know, it's only natural that you should learn. You have another joint meal tomorrow. You can not afford to be rude. I will teach you everything before the end of today."


She's doomed.






Hello, what's this?

Ivan, Ivan.... will always love education better than us.

That "Well then" at the end sounds sort of awkward... XD

Yay...some....progress...
It's progress, right?

Ivan is dearer to me because of this because this is literally something I'd do in an email. I hate writing them and I suck at it XD

Oh Ivan....

For someone who is trying to lecture on manners, that email was pretty weak.

Alright, if he won't come to Japan, the only logical course of action is as follows:

1) depose the Royal Family and ascend the throne.
2) militarise the country of Not-Arabia
3) conquer Japan
4) unite the countries of Not-Arabia and Japan into The single sovereign entity, New Japan
5) Presto! Ivan is now in Japan without ever moving a square inch!

... My initial guess was right? HOLY FRICK WHY DO I SECOND GUESS MYSELF DAMN IT!

But fuck yes, I love a protagonist who understands the joy of food.

Chapter 3 ahoy!




And Ivan starts off in such a good mood. Because Amaya overslept again.

One day, she'll be awake before you get there, you'll see!

Okay, maybe not. Mornings are hard. I'm only up at 5 am because I work 3rd shift.


Joy. More lectures.



Ivan: "This is your chance to show the progress you've made. You can't be late."

I'm scared.

Hold me, Ivan.

Anyway, she goes to the dining room, and what's the first thing Amaya sees?

Lambert's sour expression (to use her own words/inner momologue).

Hey, buddy, she's actually on time this time. It's not her fault everyone else is early.

Ivan shows her to her seat and whispers to her as she's sitting down.

Aw, he really does care.

Amaya replies that she'll do her best, which gets a faint smile out of Ivan and a pat on the back.



But she's still nervous, and it doesn't go so well.


*sigh*

Ivan to the rescue!



Ivan: "Fold it in two and hold the middle."

He's trying to help her, but unfortunately, it's just making Amaya more nervous, since he doesn't usually talk at all during meals.




When she reaches for her drink, she manages to knock a serving plate off the table and on to the floor.

...I can't take you anywhere, can I?

I guess 'Ivan will be mad' is the penitent response since the other two seem pretty rude. I mean, he's just trying to help.

Princes! Princes! A plethora of Princes!

...I don't have a problem.

I can quit any time I want to.

I just don't want to.

Yeah, voting for option A

Ivan will be mad

Voting for A as well. Amaya, you are blessed with suck.

Ivan will definitely be mad.

Or disappointed, at least.

The other two options are a bit insolent, so A it is!

Ivan will be mad.

Ivan will be mad. So very, very mad.






...Or not?

Amaya thought he'd run over, furious, but he's just looking at her and not saying anything.

I think I'd like it better if he were yelling.



Nagit's a sweetie. He stops Amaya from trying to clean up the mess and a servant takes care of it.

Ivan doesn't say anything for the rest of the meal.




And he's still not saying anything when they get back to her room.

This is getting kind of creepy.

Amaya thinks he doesn't have to be so mad. She made a mistake, but she tried her hardest.



Ivan: "You didn't listen to a word I said yesterday. I believed you when you said you would try your best. But you didn't put a single thing you learned into action.



Ivan: "I knew you had no manners so I was ready to let some things slide. But I cannot overlook that kind of behavior. Plates exist to put food on, not to break. Don't they teach you even basic things like that in Japan?"


Why isn't bursting into tears an option?

Since crying is not an option, quietly listening will have to suffice.

I'm going for my knee-jerk reaction: Apologize. Apologize for everything.

Listen quietly. 'Cause it's not like she didn't try. She just sucks at being non-clumsy because otome protagonist.

It's too laaaate to apologize!
It's too laaaaaaaaaaate~!
I mean.
Apologize. Yes. That seems like the correct course of action.

Listening quietly was the correct response in my household as a kid. You don't talk during lectures, because that was interrupting. You suffer it because the lecture was the punishment and next time you did it right because momguilt is too powerful.

So uh yeah. Listen quietly. Shows respect, and that you're trying to learn.

(not obvious at all I grew up with two parents in the military, neeeeewp)

Ivan reminds me of my mother. A lot. So, do as I always do: listen quietly, if you speak she only gets angrier.

Why hello can I join this pretty ship? *w*

And I vote for sulking. Though Ivan probably will not react at all for that action.

Never speak back, even if it's to apologize. Just sit there quietly.

Sit there in mortified silence. Ivan, you're being really mean. Or possibly you just think Amaya is a lot more competent than she really is.

The less Amaya interrupts, the sooner this is over with.



Finally, he runs out of steam.



Ivan: "Do you know what was on that plate you dropped?"

Huh? Meat, I think. Fish, maybe?

Ivan: "I am not asking about the food. Consider the effort and the feelings of the cooks who made that food. They poured their love into it but no one got to eat it in the end."

Okay, Ivan, we need to have a talk about a skill I like to call "communication". If this is what you were upset about, don't you think you should have explained that first instead of going into Disappointed Teacher mode?



Ivan: "But that food was made to be eaten. That's why they work so hard. The souls of the cooks were contained in that plate you broke. Please don't forget that."



Amaya thinks to herself that she'd be sad if someone dropped something she made, and she realizes Ivan isn't being cruel with his lectures; he's thinking about respect for other people's feelings. She feels bad about only thinking about herself until now.

Amaya: "I'm sorry...I was inconsiderate."



Ivan: "I said too much. I apologize. Please forgive me. But as a servant I couldn't bear to see their hard work go to waste. My position lets me understand people above and below me, so I know it well."

Then Amaya decides she wants to go to the kitchen RIGHT NOW to apologize to the staff.



Amaya: "Yes. And I have to tell them the food was delicious and thank them for it."

It will probably be a novel experience for the cooks, I'll say that much. They'll probably look at her like she's grown two heads.

Ivan: "That's a good idea. I shall accompany you."

But Ivan approves, so...Yay!


And he's not mad anymore! Mission accomplished!





We get mail again this chapter:

I get the impression that some days have passed since the last chapter ended.

Amaya stretches after she says that and Ivan actuall drops his dignity and laughs.



Amaya: "Huh?"

Ivan: "Eating with all the others. Your manners have improved greatly as well. Have you been getting lessons from someone else behind my back?"

Is he...is he actually joking?

Ivan? Do you feel alright?

Amaya: "No, that's not it. I thought of the cooks and decided to eat it properly to show respect."


Now that's an odd reaction.

Amaya: "It's all thanks to you, Ivan."



Ivan: "It's your gentle heart that made you so considerate in the first place."




And suddenly, I feel like I'm intruding on something.



Amaya: "By the way, what are we doing today?"

Ivan: "You'll be learning horse-riding in the courtyard today."

Amaya: "Horse-riding?!"

Why do I get the feeling that this will all end in tears?

Ivan: "It's a part of being a royal. You have to at least learn the basics."

Yeah, not really following the logic here, Chief.


Oh, well. With what degree of enthusiasm will Amaya approach this challenge?

"I'll do my best!" Horseback riding is awesome.

We will do our best, anime style! BRING FORTH THE SPARKLES!

WE WILL DO OUR DAMN BEST BECAUSE HORSEBACK RIDING IS AWESOME as long as the horse doesn't hate you. I remember being on one who wouldn't stop eyeing me angrily. Hilariously enough, though, I was the only one she didn't try to bite, so I guess I was tolerable compared to the others? I'll never know.

Also, Ivan, truer words have never been spoken. I wish we could have seen the chefs' reactions though.

We will do our best as long as the horse is not Dino Cavallone didn't throw us into a lake or something. Or a cliff. Or worse, tromps over Ivan. Yep.