I'm glad they did because after this season, I wish they'd never brought him back. Plus, Eric got some good screen time finally because of it.
No, I'm with you. "My light broke." was more groan-inducing than anything else on this show, ever. Edit: Typo.
I hope that Alcide will discover some lost ritual that makes the werewolves able to become slavering half-man, half-wolf, bipedal powerhouses who will no longer be on par with fairies for the title of "Biggest Chumps of the Supernatural World." I am also looking forward to Billith.
It was a good scene but it was also pretty annoying because it was basically the writers giving some meta-commentary about how stupid their show is. Which was funny and all, but you know what's even better than making fun of how stupid your own show is? Not making the show so stupid.
Yo, I'm five episodes in now, because this is totally a show I can put on and not have to skip through any commercials, so I can do Guild Wars 2 while I "watch" it. How come all the shows gotta have a smoke monster?
Sigh. Okay. Let's do this thing. Nine episodes down, three to go. I'll just make this a numbered list: 1. Too. God. Damn. Many. Characters. Look, Ball - either you kill like half of these people or you switch over to an anthology format. God knows you've got enough different stories going to just do twelve hours, and that wouldn't have the problem of bouncing around between stories like Ricochet Rabbit off his meds. You've got the smoke monster story, the salami story (we'll hit that in a minute), the Sam story, the Alcide story, the Hoyt story, the Tara story, the Jessica story, and all of them have only the thinnest of connections to one another. 2. I can see the production on this show. Like, more than usual. I'm not sure what the point of Chris Meloni was there, but Russell Edgington won that fight because neither of them had tits and he was the more popular character with the fans. That's it. That's the entire reason behind that entire story diversion. When that happens, that's bad. You shouldn't do that. I mean, you could already see the zippers a little bit, with the awkward running gag of Tara never taking her tits out like every other female character on the entire show, but now it's getting a little obvious. 3. Salami is a dumb shit villain. If you want to do Lilith, just do Lilith. Though I would have preferred that you not cast somebody that looks so much like Jo from Eureka. 4. Either wasserface the memory fairy very clearly said William and that was a dead ass giveaway or the show is just being manipulative. 5. And, finally, you had one thing going for you. One thing at all. I liked some of these characters. That's it. Why are you making me hate all of them? 6. Okay, I lied. One more thing. I'll let you off the hook, on account of the K'naan song was good enough to buy you some credit, but that shitty ass girly pop slap at Everybody Wants to Rule the World is about as offensive as what you did to Burning Down the House last year. Stop that right now.
Incidentally I Shazzam'd that K'naan song and bought it on Itunes before Newsroom came on. It's quite catchy
So, after this entire season of Russell being such a threat, of him killing what's supposed to be the scariest vampire ever, he goes out because he mother fucking ate too goddamn much? Really? After kicking the shit out of the entire universe, the one force he couldn't beat was the writers. Good job, show. Also, silver or no silver, that shit that salami drank was not the right consistency by a long shot. It was good that salami got smoked by somebody actually doing something and not the writing staff calling upon the god of stupidity to solve their problem for them, but she sure was dumb for a two thousand year old murderous bitch goddess who climbed to the top of the toughest organization in the world. It wasn't a complete unforced error like Russell (whom I didn't really want back anyway - I would rather have had Meloni do all of his stuff), but I think she's still probably not getting the golden glove. And I'm sorry but I have to correct him - in like ninety percent of the flashbacks, Bill is more murdering the fuck out of people than apologizing for being an unholy abomination, so that whole little speech he gives at the end about finally being proud of how he's a murdering son of a bitch who spits in the eye of goodness and light rang a little bit false to me. So, positives for the season? Tara has been partially rehabilitated, in that she's not fucking mewling about breakfast entrees and being sullen by the time it wraps up. If Pam rubs off on her a little, that can only be a good thing. There's a nascent Blood Type T-1000 joke somewhere that I could make if I were more energetic, on account of Robert Patrick actually being in the show. Lafayette was back to being Lafayette by the end of things. The Authority seems to have been taken out of the picture, so we no longer have to deal with them. I didn't have to stare directly into Chris Meloni's butthole, for which I am grateful. And there was frequently a naked, blood-drenched lesbian by the end of the season, which I'm sure had to have been good for somebody, having seen as much of the internet as I have. The bad? This was the start of a power escalation problem that the show cannot possibly hope to resolve through any method other than cancellation, and they weren't even particularly deft in raising the stakes, since Russell ceased not because of Bill jumping up his butt and pulling his brain out through his dick after he got his liquid metal power infusion, but because he was stupid and the writers were just painfully inept. Jason is back to Season 2, which is boring. We like happy Jason, show. This is not happy Jason. I'm sure that he'll discover next season through the magic of penile engulfment that he's actually pretty okay with vampires, but it would be better if he started out in that place. Alcide is now even less relevant to the plot than he was to begin with, which, I'm sure, will be all sorts of helpful the next time the script calls for him to walk his bare ass across the screen for the ladies. Sam and Andy are equally divorced from the plot at large, which will not make next year simpler. And to top it all off, I don't think the show ever bothered to explain why a convenient eighteen months passed while Sookie was hanging out in the fairy town, but nothing of note happens at all when people go into the pointy eared strip club. We probably won't even be able to get rid of Arlene and...uh...soldier guy, because even though he fixed his ailment through the healing power of brutally murdering an unarmed man, they're almost definitely going to be conscripted into the wacky fairy baby subplot as major players, because no character ever leaves this show, which is why I'm just short of certain that Hoyt will be back too. There is no universe outside of the imagination caricature of Louisiana and other areas of the theoretical South that are somehow exactly the same in every way, except that they don't have any cajuns at all (whereas Bon Temps had Brit, the loneliest creole, though, in a sad testament to the American viewing public, most people almost definitely only know him as Renee). Way to leave things for your next showrunner, Ball. Classy. It'll still be a guilty pleasure next summer, but the sheer volume of stupid is beginning to crowd out any entertainment that happened to accidentally sneak into the script.
Somebody (I blame Athryn, but perhaps I misremember) told me season 5 was better than 4, which I gave up on. So I suffered throught 4 to catch up and is now plowing through 5 - what a fucking mess. I agree with everything you wrote. One of my complaints was Eric with memory loss and helplessly in love with Sookie. Then we had a few episodes of badass Eric, and now he's Good Guy Eric.Bill and Erics complete reversal makes no sense, but then nothing does. From the beginning when most Vampires were like Eric and Pam, the mythology made sorta sense. Of course the whole Tru Blood thing was a scam, and the only weird thing was why humans were buying it - even if they accepted that a lot of vampires wanted to go straight, they still had to deal with the fact that every vampire more than a few years old were a mass murderer. In South Africa the truth and reconciliation commission took years, here we just went "oh well, couldn't help themselves" - and of course even after Tru Blood every vampire in the show, even the good guys, still murdered the occasional innocent (like Jessica eating truckers), but oh well... So as Bahimiron says, the show is stupid for drawing parallels to the KKK, when the vampire killers are the only sensible people in the show. Shame they focus on shifters and other benign supes, but they're right that vamps can't be trusted. The show is also terribly inconsistent with vampire powers. They're awfully fragile, and explode if they get pierced by a wood splinter - old doors must be the scariest thing to a vampire. But they're also fast enough to kill several armed guards before even a single shot is fired, or even other vampires... except when they're not, and surrender instead. And why pay guards, if you can glamor them? It's silly and inconsistent... and that's not even mentioning fairies and werepanthers. Last season for me to.
It is, isn't it? I only vaguely remember four at this point, but I remember thinking during five that it was an improvement even if it was still mostly awful. Best True Blood commentary I've ever seen.
It is, because they have Russel Eddington, beheadings galore and vampires exploding left and right... but only because 4 was atrocious.
Yeah, let's be honest, being better than season 4 is the easiest fucking job ever. And they still barely make it.
