Vampires, Vampires, Vampires! Let's Play Diabolik Lovers

Kanato says that his feast and the dining table being nonsensical is incredibly annoying and asks what the meaning of this is. Yui says that Kanato shouldn't say such outrageous things. She's human after all. Shu thinks this is all very troublesome and explains that that's why humans are their meals. He asks if Yui's been tasted and Ayato calls her an idiot.

Yui doesn't care. She won't accept the existence of vampires.

Gurl, they are right in front of you. One almost bit you.

Laito thinks that's a bit sad. He says that the only way to get her to accept them--


Laito: --is to do this, right?

Laito stahp.

Yui doesn't like that he's so close either.

And I take back what I said about mood whiplash. It was a welcome break from Laito whispering in my ear.


Laito: Thank you for the meal~... Nfu!

Yui says okay! She understands so wait a minute! Laito responds with a cheerful 'Nope! :D'.

Laito, everything you do scares me.

Yui thinks on her feet again and says that her blood isn't that cheap. If she's going to get her blood sucked then she wants to choose the mosquito herself.


Ayato: ... Heh?

I can't hold this one back anymore. Ayato's pose and that scarf compel me.

Cover girl!
Put the bass in your walk
Head to toe let your whole body talk

I hope you all associate Ayato with drag queens now.


Yui: (Uu... in order to stop these people I blurted it out...)

And there went the goofy music. The piano piece is back.


Reiji: How displeasing. You don't know what type of blood you possess...

But, he says, it's as if she's pretending to be a high class prostitute.


Subaru: Stupid. I'm leaving. You guys can do what you want.

The car goes 'tun tsun tsun' because I haven't unlocked him yet and then drives off into the night. Perhaps he will find an underground parking structure where he can be with his own kind.

Ayato says that it's his loss and in the distance the remaining vampires hear an angry honk. Reiji decides that he doesn't want this girl with poor manners either and rolls out with Shu, who just wants this farce to be over.

Laito thinks that, geez, those guys need to learn how to enjoy themselves. Ayato, however, thinks that this is just fine because it'll be easier to play with Yui if there's fewer of them. Kanato agrees; it's best if annoyances disappear.


Kanato: --If you don't select me. Hey... Teddy? Let's rip her apart together?

I am going after you last Kanato. You'll rip Yui apart whether she chooses you or not because you are fucking nuts.

Ayato says that he's game. Yui's going to choose him right? Isn't it obvious?

Laito, on the other hand, goes with an appeal that's a little different. If Bitch-chan doesn't choose him, she'll definitely regret it later. You know?


Yui: (Uu... I blurted it out in the moment but... what should I do now?)


And that’s the prologue. Now, if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go find a wire coat hanger to unwind so I can shove it in the crack in Subaru’s driver-side window and see if I can unlock him.

I’ll be enlisting Hat’s help first due to my own morbid curiosity and because after surviving his route everything else will probably seem like cotton candy and sunshine. You’ll know his route summary posts by the faint aroma of alcohol and tear stains.

Jump to Laito's prologue.
Skip anything Laito related and jump to Subaru's prologue.

oh god.
ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod.

Already I do not like where this is going but I can't not look. Oh god, what is wrong with me????

What I would like to do...



What I'll probably end up doing...

I'M GOING TO HIDE IN THE FORT NOW.

Everyone else is all 'nope'. Meanwhile I am laughing hysterically.

Perfect.

HAT LET ME LOVE YOU. Why are you so amusing?

And now my emotions broke so I have no idea what I'll be feeling through this LP. I have a feeling it will look likt this though....

Um... now would be a good time for those flashlights please..... before I go on my cackling spree....

I'd ride it.
If we weren't talking about abusive, blood sucking douches, of course.

Also, picturing Ayato as a drag queen makes everything so much better. So far, nothing aside of KANATO'S FACE looks that bad. I'll probably be forced in the NOPE train in the next update though, since Laito.

Still, I'm prepared.

Every time I see a gif like this I automatically think back to this one.

...
This is also true to my emotions right now.
I DON'T WANT TO READ THIS BUT I DO.

Then join us in...
....
.....
......
THE FORT!!!!
there was no reason for the random supposedly dramatic ellipses i promise

I...I can't stop laughing.
I can't really tell if this is from fear or amusement, but I'll end up watching this anyways.
Good bye sanity. You weren't really here when this started, but you'll probably have left completely when this is done.

The car jokes amuse me to no end :D Uhh good luck with hat. I'm sure that route couldn't possibly be as terrible as everybody says it is.

Aaaand because this has been said, it will be __(insert horrible word of choice)___.

Eboby's commentary makes this all worthwhile. Aside from that, my impression is that Yui's father is a dick for not giving her the proper tools or training for dealing with the undead and stealing their MP3 players/hats/teddy bears/whips.

Let me cheer all of you guys up with this video:

:D

Is it bad that that didn't creep me out?
Okay, the shouta did in one of his screenshots, but the rest of it for me is amusing. It's probably 'cause I can't hear the actual voices or anything, since hearing tends to trigger the creepiness for me.

And Eboby, the Subaru commentary just never stops being hilarious. Seriously.

That certainly cheered me up!

Kanato stahp. Shotas are supposed to be creepy, not scary. Stahp.
Also, I would suggest everyone to go listen to the prologue because SWEET MERCIFUL LORD THE MUSIC MAKES IT WORSE BETTER WORSE.
Being serious though, I love that kind of music and would probably marry it if I could. Leave me alone.

Edit: Just gonna leave this here.

Oh yay, this started ! ^___^

Kinda sad we're not pursuing the hat - it's very nice(it's person not so much).

Nah, we are pursuing the hat. Laito is just a proxy.

Oh good! One mustn't let a nice hat like that get away.

Even if it means doing the route from otome hell. With a dummy mic.

I can picture Yui, after a long night of whoknowswhatIdon'twanttoimagine with Laito, sneaking out of his arms and escaping to the bathroom with his hat, where they would cuddle all night. "It is all for you that I am doing this, Hat, it is all because of our love", she would say, while a single tear would run down her cheek. The hat would sit stoically against her chest, planning how to murder him from on top of his head. Yes, he would commit murder, all because of his love for the human girl that made him feel alive, made him feel like a hat again.

Eventually, Yui would manage to breed a mutant, poisonous louse and slip it into his hat. Laito then dies an inglorious death and the hat escapes with Yui to live peacefully in the countryside, where he becomes a psychologist and she a farmer, as they always dreamt.

~The End~

Edited because... because.

Well, if the hat wanted to be a psychologist, at least we know why Laito owned it.

I'm gonna cry, that was beautiful. ;_;

YuiXHat OTP

Hm, I would go for Ayato. He's openly dangerous and agressive which makes me think he's probably the less insane member of this boys band. And I think you'll have to endure less licking and sexual harassement (probably). And he's not a fuckin' scary shota, which makes everything better.

What did those games to my standards...

"So, tell me about your mother."

This forum sure is bringing out my inner sadist. Your suffering will be delicious. Ufufufu~

If only you knew, dear, if only you knew.

Otomate recently ran a popularity vote, by the way. The result was Shuu > Subaru > Kanato > Laito > Ayato > Reiji.

Guys this is bad.

I re-read the last couple of updates while listening to the music and my brain tried to rationalize the situation by going "Well the human does look tasty~"
Inner vampire has been unleashed!

True story: I turned on the music, started reading, made a few incoherent squeaking noises, hit my keyboard until the music stopped and hid.
But wasn't that first story I gave so much better?

The closeup on Kanato's eyes makes it look like he has bags in them. Not under them. In them.

I'm really torn between Hat and MP3 Player, guys.

Because touching as Hat's story is, MP3 Player would be so happy that we still love it even though it's "dirty" (from having its earbuds jammed in Shuu's ears 24/7). Also it would probably knock Shuu out by finding the right frequency, leaving Shuu open to be stabbed with a UV-irradiated stake and for the two lovers to flee, fugitives forever but always together.

Listened to the song, and now I understand what you were saying about them molesting your ear Eboby. And is it just me or are Japanese male voice pitched lower then most Western guys? I wish this game was out in English/on the computer.

i dont want to go on the cart

...

/hides/

Any room left in the Regret Fort?

There is ALWAYS room for more in the Regret Fort.

I HAVE SKIPPED ALL POSTS AFTER THE PROLOGUE BECAUSE
COVER GIRL IS STILL PLAYING AND
I CAn'T BREHJKAHRF
ashfjkahfdage sahdfhdskg

for some reason, child Vampire frightens me out more than Mad hatter vampire, Sadistic smirking Megane Vampire or Asshole badguy vampire all together.. can I stay with you guys? I'm sure that the kid is in fact the pure evil mastermind type! Look at his eyes! ( or is he just high, can't decide!)

He is the pure evil mastermind BECAUSE he is high...

/hides under one of many blankets in the Regret Fort/

I think we're going to need more than one barrel of bleach. I'll do a headcount in the fort next update and see how much we need.

We will need at least 20 I am sure, mainly because I am sure many of will be using and re-using this.

The more bleach the better!

/Crawls even deeper into the regret fort/