Vampires, Vampires, Vampires! Let's Play Diabolik Lovers

Be sure to take a flashlight with you. Haven't had a chance to do the wiring for the whole fort yet.

Alright, you do that while I contact my bleach smugglers and tell them to bring the whole truck.

Luckily I have this torch!



It produces level 14 light and somehow manages to not start fires!

Want me to grab all 60+ of my candles?

I have this downloaded on my tablet because... reasons.

Edit: But seriously, the game has an amazing soundtrack and it just.. aiusdhgh. It gets to me.

So I figure that giving you guys the prologue to Laito’s route will give you all at least a little context for my flailing when the summary posts go up. This may also be a good time to mention that each vampire’s route has three sections with ten parts each, and while some are translated, Laito’s isn’t translated beyond his prologue, one scene in his middle section, and one ending.

That means after his prologue, I'm staring at the screen for a very long time, listening carefully for any words I might have heard before, and thinking very hard in order to have a vague guess of what’s going on. I’m putting in all that effort instead of just mashing buttons until I get an ending because I love ya’ll so much.

Or I'm blindingly stupid. Whichever.


Yui tells Laito that he’s the one who gets to nom on her.


Laito: As expected of Bitch-chan! You've got good eyesight, huh?

We get an earful of Laito's theme. There’s flute and piano along with a good bass line interspersed with tinny drums and some pretty alright synth and guitar. It’s nice and I hate him a little for it.


Laito: Just as you wish, I will……drain you dry of blood.

Vampire lick count: 2.

We aren’t even technically in his route yet, game. Stop.

Yui thinks to herself that she must have chosen Laito because she was in a hurry. He seems dangerous to her. Laito, however, happily tells her that this is going to be fun.

Under that hat is a pair of horns.


Shu: You'd better show some restraint. Killing her is NG, okay?

Laito assures Shu that he's not going to kill her all of a sudden, you know? He wants to do it slowly and wear her down. Shu rains on his parade and says that slowly or suddenly, killing her is just an absolute no-go. Laito can suck Yui's blood and do whatever else he wants, but he can't kill her.

When Laito asks why, he says-

Shu: No idea. That person just said so. "Treat the guest courteously."

Yui says that if that's the case, he could have pointed it out earlier.


Shu: It was a pain.

If I'm ever stupid enough to start giving in to my completionism and consider playing Shu's route, I'm going to come back to this screenshot. I'll remember that never before have I wanted to punch a pixel person in the face this much and I'll put this game back down.

Yui is also upset, although she's too flabbergasted to get out much in the way of a response.


Ayato: What the hell is that bastard thinking? Why do we have to treat some boring human girl well?

I know. It's going to be so hard to be courteous to some human girl on top of coming up with three different outfits for this week's challenge. I mean, God, RuPaul, three different outfits including wigs and they have to change between events inside a moving vehicle? Do you want Ayato's Pat Benatar inspired wig to be ruined? He can't very well preform Love Is A Battlefield without it.

Someday my jokes will reach weirdness singularity and I will disappear.


Laito: Hmm. So~mehow, this doesn't seem fun at all. It's like that person's plotting something......

Laito, if you post any spoilers I ask that you at least put them in tags.

Kanato asks if he means that there's something about this girl. Laito says who knows? He doesn't understand how that person thinks at all. Yui doesn't understand what they're talking about and Ayato pretty immediately tells her to shut the hell up because this is a family matter.

He's bitter because he had to dance for his life last week and they put on some pop song instead of a jam he knew like Cross Eyed Mary.

Yui puts together that "that person" could be that person from the Church that her father mentioned. But what about that "relative" she was told about?

Shu says that that's just how it is and that Laito is going to have to keep Yui from dieing.


Laito: Yes yeees, I understand. Well then, Bitch-chan. Take care of me from now on, okay~? Nfufu.

Yui keeps her mouth shut, thinking that she's going to have to contact her father somehow and get away from here. But still... How on earth did she get into this outrageous situation?

That's my bad, Yui. Sorry.

And now for the prologue to Laito's route.

―this is not love,
nor is it affection.


It is only desire.

In other words, it is a lust devoid of love.
Affection does not exist there, either.

Desire is like a starving beast.
Although pursuing this longing is inevitable,
It is also natural.

It is not love.

【Lord Richter】
I'm sure that's not relevant at all. And this music is back.



Yui is in her new, very pink room thinking about the current state of things. She still can't quite believe that those boys are vampires, or understand why she picked someone as suspicious looking as Laito to be the one 'vampire' to nom on her.

Hey, did you know that in Japan pink is a traditionally masculine color much like it was in the US until the fifties?

Now you do. You're welcome.

In the middle of all her thinking, Yui’s heart pains her again. Ever since she's gotten here, she's started experiencing very violent heart palpitations. It feels like it's hard to breathe. She wonders if this place is to blame for that, but whether that's true or not, she has more important things to think about. Yui decides that she should rest now and buy a new cellphone tomorrow so she can contact her father.

Although truth be told, she doesn't want to sleep in this place for even one night. She briefly prays for God to watch over her and help her escape before trying to sleep.

Not that she gets to, of course. She can hear Ayato shouting about his missing takoyaki, which Google tells me is octopus dumpling balls, from another part of the house. He first accuses Reiji of eating them and gets a deeply offended denial. Ayato then accuses Kanato and the goofy music swoops back in triumphantly. Yui finds this awful hard to fall asleep during and shoves her head under her pillow, but that doesn't block out Shu calling Ayato self-important and telling him to be quieter so he can nap.

At least Yui's not the only one losing sleep.

Yui pretty much gives up on hoping that her pillow will block out the noise when Subaru and Ayato start raging at eachother. Subaru doesn't think there's anyone more self-important than Ayato and Ayato pulls the age card so he can call Subaru a brat. Their fight escalates and the walls begin to shake with the sounds of revving engines and someone blasting Transylvania.

Yui wonders if they argue like this over takoyaki, can they really be vampires? Do vampires even eat takoyaki? She just can't believe that vampires exist in modern times.

Suddenly someone close by says,"――could it be that you're wondering if we all are really vampires?"

And so Laito was back in my ear, changing the music to something else I would have liked, but is now forever tainted. Let's get his hat a bell or something.

Yui gets over her initial fright and asks Laito just how long he's been in the room. Laito tells her that he's been here for a whiiiiiile~. Yui thinks that she didn't notice him at all, and that understandably bothers her. Laito noticed that she's started making a face and asks her if something is wrong. Yui firmly denies that there's anything bothering her. Really? Laito says that she looks very frightened to him.

Yui points out that Laito did just pop up in her room and... Steadily...


Laito: Steadily?

Steadily invading her space like a creep. Or as Yui puts it," pressing in.... and approching more closely, that is." Laito says that that's because, you know, he wants to feel Bitch-chan's breathing more. Yui wants to know why he wants such a thing and calls her surprisingly unromantic for it. He'd better punish her later.

That doesn't answer Yui's question, Laito. Laito apologizes and says that he'd better tell her why he wants to feel her breathing by force.


Laito: ――I want to know more about Bitch-chan, maybe?

Fun fact: When the dummy mic came up here I actually let out a sad, quiet ‘aaaaaa why?’ Leave my left ear alone, Laito.


Laito: No, that's not it……rather than wanting to feel your breathing……

And the dummy mic continued.


Laito: ――maybe I just want to feel that you're really a living human being? Fufufu……

Don't you fucking wink at me while you say that into my ear. I will stab you, Laito.

There's the sound of someone being grabbed and then Yui asks Laito what he's doing. Laito thinks that Yui's a real idiot for even having to ask.


Laito: I'm embracing you and giving you love, aren't I?

Laito, I’m only going to type this out once:
I don’t want your love.
And I don’t want your revenge.
You and me, we’d write a bad romance.

Yui tenses up and Laito tells her that there's nothing to be scared of. After all... he's not planning on doing this or that to her right this second. "This or that", Laito? He says that it's still too early for him to tell Yui about those things, but still, if Bitch-chan is interested in it, then he'd be okay with teaching her a bit. Yui quickly says that she's fine with that and I second the motion.

Laito thinks that even though she said she's "fine", Yui's face kind of looks like she's expecting something, doesn't it?

Yui very firmly says that it does not, but Laito grabs her wrist. He tells Yui to come on and tell him what kinds of things she wants him to do to her. Yui says no and tells him to stop it, but Laito doesn't listen, explaining that nope, he can't. It's finally "activity time" and he'd like to meet Bitch-chan's expectations. But Yui's not expecting anything, Laito.

Laito asks that if that's true, as he invades her space further, then why is Yui's heart beating so fast? Yui says that it's not beating fast while Laito chuckles to himself. It's no good, he says. Even though Shu said...


Laito: This heart is pumping blood to every corner of Bitch-chan's body……just imagining it……


Yui: (The nape of my neck……it feels a bit warm……is he licking it?)

Vampire lick count: 3

And then Laito drinks her blood and my left ear is filled with the sounds of licking, sucking, and Laito panting.

My left ear will never be clean again.

Vampire Nom Count: 1

Also, I dropped the psp onto the couch cushion next to me in my alarm. I also said,” Aaaaahaha… Why?” rather sadly.

Yui tells him to stop, but Laito just asks if that means "do it more". No, it doesn't! Yui wonders what's with him. She really doesn't understand.

Suddenly a bell chimes, mysteriously making Laito stop.


Laito: Nnn, too bad. It's already that time, huh? Bitch-chan, the continuation of this……will be later tonight, all right?

He kisses Yui on the mouth, much to her shock. That was all very dangerous, but he just kissed her, she thinks.

Vampire Kiss Count: 1. Right on Yui’s lips.

Eboby going ‘aaaaaaahaha why?’ count: 6

Laito says that, come to think of it, it's time for school, you know? Why is Yui still in her pajamas? Yui manages to stammer out," Eh!? S-school?" to which Laito says that's right. Did no one tell her? Or perhaps Yui wanted to go to school in those "sexy-cute" pajamas and catch the eyes of all the boys. Laito would get jealous, you know. Yui says that that's not true, but it's still night right now, isn't it?

Laito says that school starts at night, doesn't it? Yui thinks that they must be misunderstanding each other and asks what Laito means by "school". Well school is school, right? Yui's so dumb. "Our daytime is your night time and our night time is your daytime." If Yui really doesn't understand, then maybe Laito will really have to punish her. Yui says that she understands! She understands very well!

Laito thinks Yui's panic is cute, and actually listens when she points out that she's still attending daytime school so it'd be strange to have her attend school both day and night. Oh, well that's already been taken care of, Laito says; Shu's already handled the formalities. Yui's understandably wondering when and how he did all of that, but Laito's back to not listening to her.

He says that Yui had better give up. In the first place, the moment she chose him, she opened a forbidden door, you see. And anyways, their school is fun, you know? After all, he's there, right? Yui needs to hurry up and forget everything she's known up until now and after that, Laito will savor Bitch-chan's body and soul... She'll soon become an inhabitant of the night.

Yui's not a fan of all that, and Laito says the strong look in her eyes is giving him chills. He wants to see crueler looks from Bitch-chan's eyes. Then Laito snaps his fingers and suddenly he's offering Yui clothes. He tells her that if she doesn't hurry and change, she'll be late. Yui hesitates and Laito tells her to hurry up. But, Laito, if you're right there, Yui won't be able to change clothes. Laito replies that she doesn't need to worry about him; he's not bothered in the least.

Well Yui is. So...


Laito: Bitch-chan. If you're going to continue being so disobedient, even reasonable me...will get angry, you know?

The music cut off has cut off. I’m scared.

Hurry up and strip, Laito says. And it's not a request, it's an order. Yui understands that she's in danger here and begins to change.


Laito: Nfu. That's right, just like that. I'll prooooperly watch you change.

No. Also I hate you.

And now we get something that sounds like it belongs in a jazz lounge while Yui asks him what's so fun about her doing this. Well, if Yui doesn't understand, then Laito had better spell it out for her.


Laito: ――I'm someone who gets pleasure from degrading someone, you see.

Aaaaaahaha. Laito really likes the left ear.

Also, sir, as one dominant S to another, if I’m driving Yui you won’t find any of that here.

She’s going to push you over and take your hat if I have any say in this.

...Oh wait, that’s right. I don’t.


Laito: Please don't forget. The one who dove into all this was you, after all.

Dummy mic. Stop. Stahp.


Laito: I'll fully……from your head to your toes, give love to you. Bitch-chan……

For this one he switched between ears as he spoke and then licked Yui.

Vampire lick count: 4

Eboby going ‘aaaaaaahaha why?’ count: 18


Laito: Come on now, night time has started――.

The dummy mic is going to make me cry, I swear to god.

And with Laito’s prologue posted, Eboby went out to find the strongest drink in a thirty mile radius and add a shot of vodka to it so that they could drink away their problems.

And for everyone in Fort Regret, I’d like to point out the cute animal thread. You can load up your brain bleach and venture there for solace.

Jump to Laito's route review.
Jump to Subaru's prologue.

Hello music that reminds me of a cheesy porno. You're my new ringtone.

W h y d o I d o t h i s t o m y s e l f .
H e l p .
*cute animal thread ahoy*
*also brainbleach*

We voted for the hat we have nobody to blame but ourselves. Except for those of you who voted for Shotateddy and that other guy I guess.

So apparently "bitch", in terms of japanese slang, doesn't mean "loud/unpleasant woman". It means "promiscuous woman". Y'know. Just in case Laito's personality wasn't already clear enough.

I'm not sure whether I should be laughing or crying at this point.

Ooooh Mr. Hat~

Help I don't know why but I can't help but love him.

Edit: I love your new avatar, Eboby. :D :D

Eboby, if you need it, you are welcome in this regret fort. You're still not allowed near the Sweet Pool one though.

Ahahahaaaaaaaaa make it stahp.

Sarasha, look at my avatar. Now look at your fort.
My avatar is a festive vampire.
Sadly, your fort is not a festive vampire, but if you read this LP that's what your fort could smell like.

All I would do is harass you guys. Don't invite me in. In fact, start a regret fort thread or social group and don't tell me. It's the only safe option.

WHY DID I WANT TO SHARE YOUR PAIN, WHY? NOW I... I... I've been listening along you. My left ear is forever defiled.

At some point he was talking to my left ear and my whole left arm felt ticklish, so I started flailing while going "aaahahaha, why".

Then my mother passed by me.

Awkardness ensued.

Would you mind if I accompany you in your alcohol binge?

What would a festive vampire smell like? Blood, eggnog, and shame? It would be difficult to get that stench out of cardboard...yeah, going to have rescind my invitation then, sorry.

You sure you don't want a blanket or a cup of cocoa or something though? I'm sure I could spare at least that.

How the last few minutes of my life went:
1. Ignored studying for finals to log onto BF
2. Saw Diabolik update
3. Went to get hot cocoa first and wrapped self in blanket for comfort
4. Finished reading update
5. Dumped half a bottle of peppermint schnapps into cocoa

Edit: Sarasha! Blankets and cocoa? Great minds think alike ❤

NO MEANS NO
NO MEANS NO
STRANGER DANGER I NEED AN ADULT WHERE IS MY ADULT NOOOO

noooo...

<muffled rap music in the distance>

Hey, you made it to page three! :D

Seriously time: I'm going to fall off the face of the internet for a week starting Friday and I don't really want to come back to pages and pages of 'nope' gifs. I love you guys and your reactions are amusing, but if you could refrain from posting that sort of thing for a while so I won't lose my place in this thread, I'd love you all even more.

Eboby, for being so insane and making reference to Jethro tull


When you'll start to quote ELP, I don't know what I'll do, but i'll do it :D

For Eboby and those in the regret fort I have freshly baked chocolate chip cookies!


Enjoy. Also: looked up Diabolik Lover drama CD on YouTube... and some of the comments are creepier than the actual game.
Looking forward to when you get back, Eboby.

I think a bell would look very nice on the hat. However that'll make it harder to steal when Laito's sleeping...
And even if we kill him, we'll probably wake up the other five vamps while trying to get the fuck out of there with a jingly hat.

Oh hey I translated Laito's prologue, haha, that's so weird. He's the least popular character among the wiki translators, though, since his route is just non-stop DO NOT WANT. So don't be expecting translations of his stuff any time soon... I only even translated his Dark Prologue because everyone else's was done and I felt bad for him. _(:3」∠)_ It took me 2 days because I had to keep stopping to take some shots of vodk—ok not really, but it was a pain.

I can help out with summaries and spot translations if you're totally stumped or something, though, just summon me~

Hey Thread, knock knock.

"Who's there?"

Laito of course.

And he's fucking insane.

When Chamomile says that his route is unpopular among the translators, there's a completely legitimate reason for that. I found his entire route terrifying, and I don't even understand Japanese. That's not because of the dummy mic either, it's because Laito is just that horrible.

Speaking of the dummy mic, let me throw out some tallies for Laito's route before I do that whole 'summary' thing. These are excluding the three endings and the prologues I posted along with being rough totals because vodka and I were best friends for some of his route.

Vampire lick count: 15

Vampire nom count: 19

Times Eboby dropped the PSP, or did something else that forced them to make up a lie about what they were playing to interested parties: 4

Vampire kiss count: Not even touching this one. I was counting these, but then Laito just popped up while Yui was trying to bathe-


-and this happened. I was so busy fearing for Yui's life and my ears that I lost count and refused to replay the previous chapters so I could pick it back up.

As far as an actual summary goes, beyond pointing out that Laito is awful, the first thing I'd like to mention is that, near as I can tell, Laito doesn't listen to Yui in any situation. Yui spent a good portion of her time surprised, Laito spent his popping up out of nowhere to harass her, and I spent the time I played through his route wishing that one of these options made Yui kick him and run instead of make little hearts appear on the screen or cause Laito to chide Yui for whatever she said. Laito is an incredibly flippant sort of person and he does whatever he likes, which unfortunately includes walking all over Yui. That is, in fact, how he spends the entire first third of the game as far as I could figure from listening to his lines as many times as I could stand; Yui is minding her own business, dreaming of escape or trying to adjust to her situation, when Laito drops in to mess with her for his own amusement or a snack.

Now that I think about it, though, that's more or less how he spends his entire route.

The next thing I think bears mentioning us that Laito appears to be a switch. A switch, in terms of BDSM, is someone who can enjoy being dominant or submissive and/or being the sadist or the masochist in a scenario. In the game, the last four chapters of each section don't allow the player to raise the vampire's affection towards Yui, but allow them to effectively make Yui behave more like a sadist or a masochist. There were times when picking the sadistic option resulted in a breathless and very enthusiastic Laito. It was probably one of the things that made me the most uncomfortable due to the fact that in addition to a fictional vampire being very enthusiastic into my ear, BDSM play revolves entirely around explicit permission and trust between participants and if Laito is terrible with anything it's permission and trust.

Laito's endings and the game's plot are discussed in the following spoiler. I'm spoilering it for those who want to read the plot when it pops up with Subaru with unspoiled eyes, or for some unfathomable reason, play the route themselves.

I'm not sure I'll ever be able to fully enjoy any other project Daisuke Hirakawa is in due to his voice being permanently associated with Laito giggling, saying something sinister, and then the sounds of sucking and panting filling one of my ears. The real tragedy though is that this is one more mark against hats like the fedora. First it was Nice Guys and the general jerk population trying to ruin a hat I look good in, and now it's Laito being terrible. Hats are beginning to merit some serious suspicion from me. Perhaps never again will I completely trust a fedora or the person under it.

For those who like Laito for reasons I'll never fathom, such as videetcredere and Donmai, there is gratuitous and context free Hat inside this spoiler.

And lo, after Eboby had suffered the horrors of The Hat That Wouldn't Hear 'NO', they heard a most wondrous sound. Perhaps to further their suffering rather that lessen it, the lock on the Tsundere Little Car's driver side door came undone with a small popping noise.

Tomorrow:

Beep beep vroom.

For which only five of forty four parts are translated. Chamomile, have I mentioned how lovely you are lately? You really are fantastic, you know. I really respect you for translating a part of Laito's route. My God, I barely survived and I didn't understand what the words on the screen meant, but you translated a part of it. And have you lost weight? You look great. Really.

I have a thing for the crazy ones, what can I say. At least in fiction.

It feels like that picture belongs in an entirely different game.

...
...
...
well that was interesting.

If you'd like to refresh your memory, the first post for the prologue is here.


Oh catastrophe
Leave me to fade out the light
And uncage the night

This time when Yui thinks on her feet, though, all six vampires decide to stick around. I'm sorry, Yui. So sorry.

It starts off with the usual complaint from Reiji. Yui doesn't know what blood she possesses-

Reiji: But it's as if you were pretending to be a high class prostitute.

Nah, man. A real high-class sex worker would have known to stay the hell away from the local haunted mansion, directions from her father or not.


Subaru: Stupid. Isn't it fine though? If she wants to choose, let her choose.

Ayato points out that it's pretty unusual for Subaru to join in. Usually by this time of night he's out on the town, racing the local teenagers at stoplights or cruising for shapely young trucks at the gas station. Subaru honks his horn at this in a nonchalant and dismissive manner.

Hey, Ayato, you don't know Subaru's life. Inter-model relationships are perfectly acceptable in this day and age. Keep your judgement to yourself.

Reiji agrees that Yui should get to choose. It's been quite a long time since he last disciplined an unmannered girl. Kanato piles on the Scare Yui train with a remark to his teddy bear; if Yui doesn't select him, he and Teddy can rip her apart. Ayato thinks this is all getting interesting, but of course she'll choose him. Right? Right? ...Right? Shu ignores the first notes of Ayato's Clingy in C-minor and says that whatever is fine as long as Yui hurries up and makes a choice already. Never one to let someone else have the last word, Laito chimes in to tell Yui that if she doesn't choose him, she'll regret it later.

Nope, I'm pretty sure that I regret everything anyways, Laito. I mean, I played through your route and now I'm scaring myself on Christmas Eve's day.

Well, at least I never have to play Kanato's route. Just look at the kid.

I feel like I'd go to jail for just considering it.

Yui notices that in a moment of confidence Subaru had chosen not to lock his doors. Considering the neighborhood he's parked in, this was a very poor choice and Yui's really doing him a favor by jumping into the driver's seat. It would teach Subaru and his brothers a very valuable lesson about locking up the things they don't want stolen when Yui drove Subaru off into the night. Plus, fair is fair; Subaru broke her phone, so she gets a free ride to safety.

When she reaches out to turn the key-foolishly left in the ignition-the dashboard lights up and Subaru speaks. It's a bit hard to hear him over his theme blaring from the speakers, but Yui manages.



Subaru: Ha? You've got pretty weird tastes. You want me to kill you? A~ah?

I don't remember Kit ever being this surly. Worst talking car in town.

You're getting a one star review on Yelp, mister.

Yui thinks to herself that they're all vampires anyway, so it would be alright to just pick any of them, but...... she seems to have mad a mistake. Subaru's just fine with this. Whatever, if Yui wants to be killed so much, just as she wishes, he'll kill her.

Not so fast Subaru, Shu says that killing Yui is still not okay.


Subaru: A~ah? The hell's that?

Shu prohibits it as the next head of the vampires. Don't make him repeat himself so many times, it's such a pain. God. Kanato asks why, and Shu says that he has no idea why they can't just kill Yui, but it would have been a pain to say something before. Ayato joins in on the complaining again.


Subaru: So annoying. That bitch...... She's a frivolous eyesore.

And she can hear you. Is this the 'tsun' part of a tsundere? I can never tell, because when one is on the screen all I ever hear is someone being blindingly rude.

Reiji thinks that Subaru's being impudent too, and says that if Subaru really thinks that, he's welcome to kill Yui. If he's alright with disobeying that person's orders, of course.


Subaru: Tch...... Damn it! One of these days, I'll kill her…… Together with that person.

Then there's speculation about if That Person is plotting something and if Yui's involved somehow, the same as last time. Yui's using her context clues to try and puzzle things out when Shu says that anyway, that's just how it is. Keep Yui from dying, Subaru.


Subaru: Tch, how stupid. Oi, you'd better not piss me off. I'll kill you.

What a charming young man. Or a horrible young man. I get those two confused occasionally.

The prologue for the first third of the game, Dark, is fully translated so there's none of my wild guessing here. In place of a disclaimer that I don't know what I'm doing, let me explain how the audience participation part of this LP is going to go.

First off, what influences the ending a player gets is not so much how much the vampire likes Yui, which is what the player is influencing in the first six chapters of every section. I'll be selecting the option that spits out little hearts, because the mood whiplash of hearts scattering across a screen with a terrible vampire in it will help me survive the dummy mic and blood drinking. What has far more sway on the ending rather than affection is how much of a sadist or masochist Yui is, points for which are scored in the last four chapters of each part, and the player selecting two blue words from three in a giant wall of text that ends every chapter with S and M choices.

Now, I am nowhere mean enough to make a bunch of internet strangers randomly pick two Japanese words from a wall of text, or badger an internet stranger into translating that wall of text before I make others pick two of them. Out of the three, there are two right words, which cause blood to splatter across the screen, and one wrong word, which makes a cutting sound when selected. I'll be choosing the blue words on my own and when I get two right words or one certain chapters in the game will unlock accordingly.

I am mean enough, however, to leave guiding Yui to become a sadist or a masochist entirely up to internet strangers. When we come across those choices, I'll make a post for the both the S and M option and then the one with the most likes after [arbitrary unit of time] is the one we'll go with. How you all decide to shape Yui can have quite a bit of sway over which ending we get.

If you skipped the wall of text above, go back and read it. I'm not going to repeat that for you. I love you, but no.


Yui: Haa…… How could this have happened, I wonder.

Yui is hanging out in a chapel and spewing out exposition, as is her want. Because of her father's work obligations, it really couldn't be helped that Yui would be left in Japan alone. She never expected to be involved in freeloading, though, and vampires... It's like a dream. And on top of that, there's school.

Yui, honey, as someone what has been a freeloader I can say that you are not freeloading. At least not by the American definition of freeloading. I'd argue that every time Subaru noms on you, you're paying rent.

Then Yui is overcome with a flashback.



Even in sepia tones, this mansion is fantastic. Even so, Yui has to change schools!?


Shu: Yeah. The formalities have already been dealt with.

Yui tells him that to go so far without her permission is unfair! Should someone who isn't even related to her do that!? Shu thinks so. As long as Yui's living here, all the boys might as well be her relatives, right? And on top of that, Yui is a resident of this house and as long as that's the case, she has to follow their rules.


Shu: ……so, what that means is that starting tomorrow, you'll be going to school with us. At night, got it?

Yui doesn't like the idea of night school, Shu. Well, Shu points out that they are vampires. Also, Yui shouldn't contact anyone she knew before moving here. That would just bring more trouble and Shu has strange places to take naps in.

Yui's mind wanders back to the present and she remarks that in any case, her cell phone was broken so it's not like contacting anyone would be easy anyway. It's just ridiculous that she was even forced to choose someone to suck her blood... Well, she doesn't know the reason, but somehow she managed to escape that place without really thinking about it.

Yui wonders what she can do about the mess she's in. Maybe instead of staying in that house, she could just stay at this church for a while. It was surprisingly easy to slip away after all...

A male voice laughs at Yui and says that there's not much she can do, is there? When Yui asks who they are and where, he laughs and calls her pretty slow. He's not around where she's looking... He's above her.

Above...? All that's above Yui is the skylight window.



I call shenanigans. Cars can't fly. And could you turn your theme down, Subaru? The church was music free before, and I found the silence refreshing.


Subaru: ……Yo, stupid girl.

Yui's pretty startled by Subaru's floating, but Subaru doesn't understand why. Something like floating's no big deal. It totally is, dude. Normally, you shouldn't be able to do something like float.


Subaru: ……well I'm not "normal". I'm a vampire.

Don't be fooled by the smile here, he sounds like he needs a nap and a snack.


Subaru: Things that you pathetic, inferior humans can never do for your whole lives, we make them look easy……

That goes for his whole family, he adds.Yui doesn't say anything at that, and Subaru asks her what's with that face she's making? Is Yui unsatisfied with something....

And then he jumps down through the skylight, breaking the glass and making Yui scream. Subaru tells her to stop the damn screaming. He just broke some glass, it's nothing to make such a racket over. Yui tells him that it is something to scream over. It's a mess of broken glass, and it all fell from right above her.

Dummy mic encounters: 0
Subaru being a huge jerk: 1

And how did a vampire get into a church? Yui thought she was safe here, why!?


Subaru: Ha! ……don't confuse me with some other weak vampire.

For someone like Subaru, entering a church is no problem at all. He thought that Yui had already figured out that crosses don't work against them. Does nothing stick in that brain of Yui's? Graciously, Yui ignores Subaru's raging case of Rude and thinks that that's certainly true, but...... She thought that at least inside of the church she'd be safe!

We need to find Yui somewhere dark and secluded to hide in... like a parking garage.

Wait, wait. That's Subaru's natural habitat. And knowing how he is, he'd probably flash his headlights at Yui to blind her before running her over.


Subaru: Anyway, you're my food, aren't you? Why'd you just leave the house on your own like that?

Quoth the tsundere," Rabble rabble rabble. You're my property and have no free will!"

It's not like anyone told Yui that she wasn't allowed to go out, Subaru. And besides, Yui says, for Subaru to refer to her as "food"...


Subaru: Don't talk back to me. For my food to be in a shitty place like this…

He'll get really pissed, that's what he's saying. Yui understands the barely veiled threat here, and asks herself what she should do. He seems like he's getting really angry. If she doesn't run-... but she can't exactly go around Subaru and even if she could, how would she leave... Climb through the window maybe?


Subaru: ……oi. Even though I'm right here, why the hell are you looking away……

The music stops, Subaru grabs Yui, and everything quickly becomes terrible.


Subaru: Stuuupid. You're way too naive.

Back the fuck up, good sir. The music here bodes ill.

He had Yui cornered against a wall before she could even blink.


Subaru: ……Hmmph. When I get a closer look, you really are a tiny little girl. If I bite you with my fangs, I might even scratch your bones.

Then let's just not let anyone bite Yui today.

Strike the set, everybody. We're done for the day, go home.


Subaru: But you said you wanted me to suck your blood……

Damn it.

……in other words, Yui wants to be his woman, is that it?Yui can't even begin to think of how to tell Subaru how far off the mark he is, but he takes her shocked silence for agreement. Yui tells him no, that's not what she was thinking! His face is too close for Yui's comfort; when he's this close, she can clearly see those sharp fangs of his... Could it be that he came here to suck her blood?

Yes. And to upset me too, I'm sure. This game has some sort of personal vendetta.

Yui notes that he was floating in the sky earlier too. It seems he really is a vampire. She tells Subaru that at the time, things were happening so fast that she didn't have time to think things through. Even now, she tells him, looking into his headlights, she still can't explain the reason why she chose Subaru. It's almost like there was a yangire somewhere far away controlling her actions. Pressing her on despite Yui's reluctance and their own...

In any case, Yui politely asks Subaru to step back a little. It's difficult for them to talk when he's so close.

Subaru responds to her request in a totally mature and balanced manner, kicking a hole in the wall. Tch. The wall's more fragile than he thought. Totes lame. Well, listen up Yui. Really try to cram this into that slow brain.


Subaru: ……you'd better damn well listen to every last word I say. 一never defy me.

Killing Yui isn't allowed. If it wasn't for that, Subaru would've killed her on the spot, you know?


Subaru: I don't want a troublesome woman. You'd better not waste my time, got it?

If Yui doesn't listen to him, well then……Subaru destroys more of the wall and then tells Yui that just like it-no even more than this... He'll "beat the shit" out of her. There won't even be fragments left behind, you know?

Congratulations on your excellent taste in vampires, guys. I'm sure those of you who voted we LP Subaru are thrilled right about now.


Subaru: ……kuku. Ahh, that's great. That scared face of yours is really exciting for me.

Subaru grabs Yui's wrist with incredible strength. He then says he'll give her a reward for showing her such a good face--he'll suck her blood.

I really don't like having things like that whispered into my ear.


Subaru: ……hey you, give it to me……

Subaru, get out of my left ear. Laito already ruined it forever, there's no need for you to add to that.

Yui doesn't even fully get out the word "stop" before he bites her. She screams as his fangs sink in.


Subaru: Nn……your skin's surprisingly soft. I just had to lightly pierce my fangs through……

Then Subaru laughs and tells Yui that, look, the blood's already overflowing. Slowly and steadily, he drives his fangs into the nape of Yui's neck. He begins to suck up Yui's blood, and Yui begins to feel painful and feverish. Her head's becoming heavy too and even though she wants to push him away, her body's energy has somehow... And her body's getting hotter and hotter. What is this?

It's terrible is what it is. And I have to listen as Subaru swallows down Yui's blood, stopping occasionally to pant into my ear.



Eventually, he stops, but Yui still feels a deep, hot pain spreading from the nape of her neck to her entire body. She thinks that if she doesn't take Subaru's hand, it seems that she'll fall to the floor any second. So this is what a vampire's blood-sucking feels like... Painful and hot... Yui's mind feels like it's going crazy.


Subaru: So this is……your blood, huh……

……well, he says, it ain't bad. It's just……No, it's probably just his imagination.

Yui asks what's up? He's glaring at her... To which Subaru responds with a "hmmph" and says that he was thinking that he'd acknowledge Yui a little as his food.

Subaru finally releases Yui, but she's still frightened and makes a distressed noise.


Subaru: I thought I'd kill you if you were too unappealing, but it looks like things'll be fun. Guess I'll let you live.

Well... Just until he gets bored, yeah?

This is why I drive a Hyundai.

He leaves, kicking the door so hard on his way out that it goes flying. Yui's chest is pounding and strength still hasn't returned to her legs, so it doesn't look like she can stand up just yet. He really did suck her blood... but it wasn't nearly as bad as she was expecting it to be. She doesn't feel like her body temperature has dropped and she's still conscious...

Yui honey, no. Just no. Don't try to look on the bright side of this.

There is no bright side. You are in a dark cave without a match.

Yui remembers the rosary in her pocket, and wonders if it's her father protecting her even though they are far apart. Or maybe it's because this is a church... Even though the windows and door have been broken... Could this, too, be a trail from God?


And that's Subaru's Dark prologue. Happy holidays.

Jump to chapter 1.

And so it begins...

I think that any choice would have proven to be just as terrible nightmarish despicable fun. And yes, I am thoroughly enjoying your suffering this route :D

I noticed in some of the Laito pics, he doesn't always wear the hat. WHAT POINT IS THERE IN DOING THAT ROUTE WITHOUT THE NICE HAT? Honestly, what were the game makers thinking?
Though... Just the fact that they made Laito at all makes you wonder what they were thinking... But you don't even have to hat to take your focus off all the... everything about Laito. How terrible.

But yay! Now we get to see Subaru! :D

This forum better make Yui a dom or so help me.

Oh, we will. You can be sure that we will most likely unanimously vote dom.

The thought of the best of them being a vehicle suffering from anger issues is... well, special. I wouldn't call him a tsundere, though.

I must really be sadistic masochistic disturbed screwed up to be reading this at all. That's it. Summoning my boyfriend to bring me my fuzzy blanket and a huge-ass mug of hot chocolate to help me cope

I've been dumping more and more whipped cream vodka into my hot chocolate as these updates come in. I don't even taste the chocolate so much anymore...

....mind sharing that vodka?
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i ran out...? ehehe?

VODKA FOR EVERYONE who is of age