Write your own epitaph

I kinda want this:

Dying is easy
Comity is hard

"He never knew when to shut up"

"Apples."

"Forgive me for not standing to greet you."

Or, "Here lies Rapunzel. Don't step on her!"

MATT BOWYER

He Nailed That

Here lies Rot,
Who finally lives up to the name.

"You should have left your room, at least once."

Voluit esse optimum
Optimum vnquam erat
Eius verus test erat occuparent eos
Exercentes eos erat eius causam

I think I have the Latin right.

"You should see the other guy."

"I wish I'd been the man I knew to be."

I am ashamed that I was able to recognize that.

Whatever mine is, I'm going to have to write it in advance, so I figure there's a lot of time for revision. Right now I think it's "THIS SPACE FOR RENT."

"I should have gone to Jared."

"I have nothing to say and I am saying it and that is poetry as I need it."

As in life, so in death.

But did he ever catch them all? Because you can't leave a hanging legacy like that, it's just not right!

As for me, I believe I haven't yet found anything that tops: Here Lies Soli-chan

"Here lies Jim
He did your mom"

It gets better/worse as time goes on!

"OH GOD, MY FACE! GET OFF MY FACE!"

"He wasn't much as a man or a Pumaman.
And now he's worth nothing at all."

"Dude"

"That Charles guy, what a dick."

Born [date of birth]
Died [date of death]
Found [date some oddly long time after death]

Or...

Born [date of birth]
Buried [date]
Died [a day after the buried date]

So this one isn't mine but I've always loved it:

By this event a Husband is deprived
of his best Friend
Three children of an affectionate parent
A Mother of her only Child.
Farewell those Happy days that once I knew
Adieu my Friend I bid a Long Adieu
Till we united Shall that hand adore
That parted lovers on this Earthly shore

Lady, we ain't got that kind of time.

"Actually Beat Battletoads"

"Survived by His Backlog"

Left this world as he came in: naked and screaming

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang!"

I told you I was ill

Alas poor yorick, whose real name i forget.

Here lies Ferdie Lance
Returned to the Juffo-Wup

Devon McCarthy
Born - 1991
Died - [insert death date]
Last Words - "Please continue to update my Facebook status."

My favourite is 'Here lies One whose Name was writ in Water.'
Shamelessly stolen and hopelessly pathetic, but it is a tombstone. So I doubt I'll care.

LIKE AND SHARE THIS EPITAPH
AND WATCH THIS TOMBSTONE
AND IN TEN SECONDS
SOMETHING AMAZING WILL OCCUR

"Careful with that axe, Eugene"

"That is not dead which can eternal lie".