The Knife of the Traitor - being a not-dead otome heroine ain't easy

Merakia

Merakia

Oh, Come On
Once upon a time, there was a girl born in a powerful kingdom populated with bizarre-looking creatures. When she reached her teenage years, she learned that she had a special destiny linked with a throne that was starting to look rather empty and unloved.

Unfortunately, said destiny involved someone trying to kill her. She managed to get away from her wannabe killer with only the most minor of wounds, but it would affect her perception of the world for at least twenty screenshots to come. Nonetheless, these Questionably Beautiful Men won't just romance themselves, so it's time for her to get a-wooing again!

But enough talk about Valen Leingold; I'm supposed to be taking a break from my main LP here, after all.

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I was actually planning to LP Ristorante Amore first, but avocado got to it before I did, so instead of LPing a game featuring aliens and otome protagonists that aren't quite alive, I shall be LPing an otome game featuring barbarians and otome protagonists that aren't quite dead. Sounds like a fair trade-off to me!

This is also going to be my first-ever blind LP. Yes, that's right: in contrast to my well and truly spoiled Fantasia LP, I have never played this game before and have read only the most basic of information about its plot. All I really know about this game is that it was made in just a month for NaNoRenO (a.k.a. NaNoWriMo for visual novels), that its protagonist was a near-candidate for narrating The Lovely Bones's sequel, and that it has a Weird-Looking Chicken appearing somewhere in it.

This means that the obligatory please do not spoil this LPer's fun because it will be so much more fun to watch her say things she is going to regret later on request is in place here and also that I don't have a concrete idea of just how long this LP will turn out to be. It probably won't reach 10+ pages, though. Probably. Maybe.

Oh Merakia. You so unprepared.

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I was so unprepared, in fact, that most of the game's introduction rolled right past me while I was taking screenshots and I had to replay it twice to get everything. You slap me with an auto-forwarding infodump even after I've moved the Auto-Forward Time bar all the way to the right in the Options screen? Not cool, game. Not cool at all.

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But yeah, this intro hints that this game ain't going to be all about wooing hot not-quite-human guys, just like with Fantasia: ROA. And that I'm most likely going to get near-killed by the nicest guy I meet in this game too.

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OH WAIT, the "near-killed" part already happened to us before this game even started. Gotcha.

And what happened to us after this annoying little inconvenience?

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We became Sleeping Beauty, apparently. Hopefully the guy who tried killing us didn't decide to experiment with almost-necrophilia.

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...I could say so many things about our otome protagonist's appearance, but really, what else can I say other than LOOK AT HER JUST LOOK AT HER NOW THERE IS AN OTOME PROTAGONIST WHO WILL BE UNDOUBTEDLY AWESOME!?

Well, that and how the text-end thingy is a skull, which means that pretty much every spoken line will carry the insinuation of "I currently have a knife stuck in my throat, and it is ruining my day and inspiring me to think murderous thoughts."

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...Wait, am I speaking to myself?

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AACK! I think I'd have preferred being a schizophrenic here, thank you very much.

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I think we might be mute here, though. A knife right through the jugular has a way of messing with vocal cords, after all.

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Why, I have no idea, Weird-Looking Chicken. Maybe it's our latest invention in jewelry?

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I think we just figured that one out, yes. Don't tell me that you're going to be the Navi of this game, birdie.

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Ahhh, good old nonverbal communication.

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Huh. That's actually a pretty cool ability to have. I take back the Navi comment I said about you, birdie.

Weird-Looking Chicken accomplishes this spell-casting in just two screens and bids that his lady think happy things to him, but...

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...naturally, things can't be that simple.

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...For some reason, that use of caps for "deeply" makes me suspect you right off the bat, CORVUS. Also, Know Your Meme has rendered me unable to read "True story" without automatically adding a mood-ruining "bro" to the end.

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Still, you seem to be the Mr. Exposition of this game, Corvus, so I guess I'll have to trust your word on principle. For now.

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Indeed, good sir.

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Oh NO, please don't tell me that you're a romance option in this game! Unless you're actually a reasonably human or pigeon-shaped being cursed to be in this radioactive green form. That would actually be kind of neat.

*

So yeah. That'll have to be it for my new LP for now, as I have classes to rush to. I'll try to get a couple more posts up tonight, though, and see if I can make daily updates for this from here on.
 
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Nute

Nute

2013 Calamity Jane Award Winner
Merakia said:
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Yo, that shit is NOT likely to be up to code. And certainly not weather-resistant. I hope the Kingdom of Ulla isn't in a tropical climate.

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I'm certain that observation comes after:
- Why the actual fuck are you wearing a necklace of eyeballs?
- Skeleton bikinis do not work that way!
- HOLY SHIT I'M A TALKING CHICKEN.


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Yes, because her memory loss after getting STABBED THROUGH THE THROAT is more outlandish than her being ALIVE (ish?) after being stabbed through the throat.

And certainly more likely to be magical than a TALKING CHICKEN GODDAMMIT.

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HO HO HO, bird. Ho ho ho indeed.
 
Somnium

Somnium

Armchair Designer
I just looked at the English translation for that song. It started off pretty well, but then it just became complete nonsense to me...guess it works with the music video, in a way.
Also, I now have it stuck in my head. Yay!
 
Merakia

Merakia

Oh, Come On
avocado said:
I foresee hundreds of bad endings.

(Well, but only because I got a bad ending EVERY FUCKING TIME. I am such a loser.)
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Aww, don't worry, avocado; I'll be certain to make you and other otome players feel better about their poor choices, because me? Let's just say there's a reason I ruthlessly exploit save scumming outside of LPs. Which is why I wanted to try out a blind LP because I know it will be guaranteed entertainment even if my snark fails.

*

Anyway, Corvus, in spite of his disturbing fixation on our otome protagonist's skin, is thoughtful enough to explain to her just who she is. Not where she got all these remarkably clean eyeballs from or why losing a functional trachea is only a temporary setback for her, though; that would just be boring.

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So it turns out that we're a princess.

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A sadomasochistic princess, apparently.

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A sadomasochistic princess with a birdie bodyguard who likes to watch us boning chained-up victims and wearing their boners as hair accessories afterwards.

...

Well, I was about to say that this was easily the trippiest otome game I've ever played. But then I remembered Hatoful Boyfriend. And the other bird with a fetish for mostly dead otome protagonists. And suddenly a little S&M and avian voyeurism didn't seem all that bad. (That, or I need to get some sleep real soon.)

Corvus then talks a little bit about less trippy stuff, saying that he fell asleep as soon as he entered the tower and wasn't able to catch even a glimpse of the traitor.

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This is all very interesting, Corvus. Even more interesting is just how I managed to survive getting my neck skewered by a bloody knife, but I suppose you're not going to tell me that, are you?

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Thought so. Also, our father is totally going to turn out to be either dead or evil.

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I should mention here that Os's muteness means that she responds to everything with dead silence, which leaves it entirely up to the player's imagination and Corvus's replies to fill in just what she's thinking. That said, I'm sure that her thought processes right now must be focused on how many soon-to-be-dead traitors' intestines she'll need for a thorough flossing of her teeth.

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Os nods her approval (they will pay, oh yessss they will pay), and I get my first choice:

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A choice that belongs to the "might as well flip a coin, kid, 'cause you ain't getting any hint on which one is the best" category. Hoo boy. The basement is the obvious choice to have more fun with the prisoners, but I'm morbidly curious to see if the kitchen will have racks of dead animals or vats of green soup with bobbing eyes in them, so the kitchen it is!

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Disappointingly, the kitchen looks fairly normal as far as kitchens go. Our voyeur birdie does turn out to be pretty considerate of our health, although I'm still not taking my eyes off his suspiciously-colored claws just yet.

Corvus leaves us alone to search for food, but it isn't long before we find ourselves not-alone!

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I have the feeling that this is how Corvus reacts to everything new.

In any case, Corvus takes a closer look and realizes that aww, it's just a puppy, a widdle puppy that's still pretty damn adorable in spite of having fallen into the same vat of radioactive material as him and--

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"--I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN YANK DOWN HER PANTIES, YOU HORNY CUR!"

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...

WHAT

IT WAS JUST A JOKE, GAME

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...Look, lil' mutt, I'm sure you have some very poignant sob story that explains how this is totally not a creepy-as-fuck come-on, but the fact remains that you're no bird. This means that your current actions are prohibited by the Bestiality Is Okay Only When It Is Bird On Human clause in these forums. Good day, sir!

Corvus proceeds to punctuate this by swooping in to save his lady from the clutches of this flea-ridden mutt. Keep this up, Corvus, and I promise I'll do my best to see if you have a route or not. Even if you are a voyeur who pervs on deliciously neon-green flesh.

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...Say what?

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Say WHAT?

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Oh.

OHHHH.

Damn, my choice of who to romance just got a bit harder because as adorable as Corvus's facial expression is right now, someone who puts me in mind of Anghel Higure gets an automatic ten points in my book, boob-related perversion aside.

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Or maybe not.

Also, "poop"? You can say "fuck" more than once in a conversation, lil' mutt.
 
Merakia

Merakia

Oh, Come On
It quickly becomes clear that Corvus and Gervase aren't exactly willing to share Os friendly with each other.

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Corvus does become humbled when Gervase reminds him that oh yeah, they've been asleep for what must have been a non-trivial amount of time, considering that virtually all the food in this kitchen has rotted away.

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Plot Device Alert!

Corvus points out that opening this barrier is going to be kind of hard to do, what with Os having lost her memories, and...yeah. Not really any good news to give to the half-starved beast here.

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Hmm. Think Gervase might be being set up to look a wee bit self-absorbed here?

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Corvus panics and begins blubbering about "our precious Ulla" in a surprisingly non-Gollum manner, but--

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Yep, definitely self-absorbed. I think we've just met the asshole bad boy love interest, folks.

All right, granted, Gervase could be telling the truth about the king and Ulla for all we really know about them, but come on, he's the one who was about to relieve himself on our thighs. He automatically loses here.

Os unfortunately can't speak up in her defense with comments about how dog meat reportedly tastes much better fresh off the bone (which is utter tragedy), but Corvus rushes in to defend his beloved:

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I'm beginning to genuinely like you a lot, Corvus. Your "LET ME BE ALL FIERCE WITH THIS CUTE FACE OF MINE RARGH" facial expression is just too gosh darn adorable.

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Says the pup who was all over us within half a second of meeting us for the first time in ages.

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!!!

Best. Otome. Protagonist. EVER. Just look at her face there; it's got "Oh yeah, I guess I did that. You gonna do anything about it other than yowling at me like a sexually frustrated lapdog?" written all over it.

Corvus begins to say that Gervase deserved all the punishments he went through (I so loved watching you squirm, ohoho) because he betrayed her multiple times (hmm. *glances at game title* Nahhhh, too easy), but Gervase's hormones pride will not put up with this shit:

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Translation: FUCK ME RIGHT NOW YOU BITCH YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ATTRACTED TO OTHER BITCHES GODDAMMIT FUCK ME

I am so cockblocking your desperate ass, Gervase.

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Erm, Corvus, while I fully and wholeheartedly support your verbal bitchslapping of this pathetic mutt, aren't you also a...?

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...Yes, that.

Corvus has the perfect riposte, however!

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Hmm. Let me think for a millisecond here...whatever shall I say in response to this oh-so-difficult dilemma...uh, how about NO.

Corvus and Gervase's insults then devolve into schoolyard-level toilet humor, which soon bores Os and she turns her attention to more important matters.

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WHAT. Don't tell me you're seriously concerned about that assface's already bandaged-up wounds, Os!

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Ah, gotcha. You were just thinking about how gooood that vulnerable spot of his would feel between your two sharpest teeth. I like the way you think, sister.

Or at least, I will assume that was what you were thinking. Because I am going to bop you on the forehead with your own bone hairclip if you honestly want to stay in this literally needy asshole's presence for any longer than necessary.

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Dammit, he caught on to us before we could fully calculate the distance between our canines and his canine chest. Oh well, there's always next time.

...All right, all right, I get it; even otome protagonists who can turn dicks' skins into stockings still need to focus on snagging a hot-looking guy first and foremost. I'll be sure to pick the "right" choice next time, game, even if it's Mr. Asswipe over here. If only because I have a feeling that his route will at least be hilarious to watch.
 
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Skibblu

Skibblu

ninja liker from STEALTH
Where did you find awesome gem? :O The art is so cute. and has an awesome protag. I want to play ;w; omg, assignments. ughugh.

Great LP so far, keep it up :D

...and I'm still trying to figure out what's with all the fur on Gervase..It's like those faux fur cape thingy that socialites wear...and then I imagine Gervase as one of them...and...uh. brb. dying in laughter.

Ok. I'll shut up and try to get off this forum to do work TwT
 
avocado

avocado

Forever Hard Cider Gal Until The End
Woah, I am really surprised. I reacted totally different than you did. I hated Corvus at the very first second and pitied Gervase. I mean, c'mon! Look at his body! You fuckin' tortured him! That's totally not cool. And I doubt that there was any kind of sexual undertone. You really did some shit and he really hates your guts.
 
Merakia

Merakia

Oh, Come On
avocado said:
Woah, I am really surprised. I reacted totally different than you did. I hated Corvus at the very first second and pitied Gervase. I mean, c'mon! Look at his body! You fuckin' tortured him! That's totally not cool. And I doubt that there was any kind of sexual undertone. You really did some shit and he really hates your guts.
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Well, I did admit that Gervase might very well be telling the truth about Ulla and its rulers being horribly unfair on its lower-society people and that Corvus might be the one with the skewed viewpoint, but on the other hand, he could be exaggerating. I really don't know much about him yet other than he doesn't seem to be a very pleasant person to hang out with even with the "tortured" factor taken into account and apparently thinks that sniffing a woman's underwear is the best way to get back at her, so it was just so much more fun for me to paint him as a hormonally frustrated mutt.

That said, Fantasia's Cain did manage to grow on me in spite of having a creeper introduction, so if Gervase manages to do that too, my comments on him will change similarly. And I do admit that the implications that our otome protagonist might be the bad guy here intrigue me.
 
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avocado

avocado

Forever Hard Cider Gal Until The End
Merakia said:
Well, I did admit that Gervase might very well be telling the truth about Ulla and its rulers being horribly unfair on its lower-society people and that Corvus might be the one with the skewed viewpoint, but on the other hand, he could be exaggerating. We really don't know much about him other than he doesn't seem to be a very pleasant person to hang out with even with the "tortured" factor taken into account and apparently thinks that sniffing a woman's underwear is the best way to get back at her.

That said, Fantasia's Cain did manage to grow on me in spite of having a creeper introduction, so if Gervase manages to do that too, my comments on him will change similarly.
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Ah, well, that's probably because I am totally gullible. What reason would he have to lie to us? I mean, he doesn't look like the smart kind, so I doubt it's some tricky move to deceive us.
But, well, just play some more!
 
T

tmp

Already Beat BF's New Expansion
Merakia said:
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I'm beginning to genuinely like you a lot, Corvus. Your "LET ME BE ALL FIERCE WITH THIS CUTE FACE OF MINE RARGH" facial expression is just too gosh darn adorable.
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Corvus is totally going to turn out to be the guy who's stabbed her, isn't he? Between that blind devotion and hastily hidden obsession with the protagonist's skin my yandere sense is tingling, and i don't even have one.
 
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